IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people say it is important to keep your home and work place tidy with everything organized and in the correct places. What is your opinion about it?

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There is a strong argument that it is essential to keep everything tidy and organized at home and workplace,
whereas
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, on the other side, others think
otherwise
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. In
this
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 essay, I will examine the pros and cons of both views
while
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 giving my opinion
along with
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 a summary. There are numerous benefits to having our
place
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 well-ordered and the prominent one is comfortable. Having our home or workplace neat can make us feel at ease and convenient,
instead
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 of having messy surroundings that can make us distressed and uncomfortable.
Moreover
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, it does not leave a good impression on our guests and colleagues who would think that we are not organized and professional person.
Likewise
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, when our stuff is not in the right
place
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, it would make us spend more
time
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 looking for it, particularly on the urgent
time
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.
As a result
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, we end up losing things that we really need at the moment.
On the other hand
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, sometimes it is fine to not keep things in their
place
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 all the
time
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, particularly for items we use frequently. Putting them in a
place
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 where we can find them easily is more important than putting them in the proper
place
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.
For example
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, a
phone
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 that we used. After using my
phone
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, I am used to leaving it in a
place
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 near me
such
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 as on a table or cabinet. I can find it easier because I remember where was the
last
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time
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 I used my
phone
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. I think it is not totally wrong with
this
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 arrangement because as long as I can find my
phone
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 easily, I do not care whether it is in its right
place
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 or not. In conclusion, there are the positive and negative points about having our
place
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 as neat as a new pin. After weighing both views and
considered
Wrong verb form
considering
show examples
 everything, I am inclined to say I completely agree with the statement because having our
place
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 neat and tidy is more important in our daily lives. Having our items in the order
place
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 can make us find it easier and not waste
time
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 searching for it.
Moreover
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, it can leave a good impression on ourselves as a person who has an organized character.

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Coherence & Cohesion
While you have introduced the topic and provided a clear opinion, the essay could benefit from more varied and complex sentence structures to enhance coherence. Use a mix of simple and compound sentences to support your main points more effectively.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure, but transitions could be smoother. Use a range of cohesive devices, such as conjunctions, pronouns, and discourse markers, to connect ideas more naturally and improve the flow of the essay.
Task Achievement
Make sure to write an essay that fully responds to all parts of the task. While you have covered the main topic, exploring both viewpoints in more depth with further elaboration and analysis would strengthen your task achievement.
Task Achievement
Incorporate more specific examples that are directly relevant to the claims you are making, which will strengthen your arguments and make the essay more persuasive.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Efficiency
  • Productivity
  • Organized
  • Clutter-free
  • Hygiene
  • Allergens
  • Creativity
  • Minimalist
  • Professionalism
  • Environmental consciousness
  • Sustainability
  • Calm
  • Time management
  • Aesthetically pleasing
  • Attention to detail
  • Economic
  • Impression
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