There is a suggestion that all young adults should be required to participate in unpaid work to assist people in the community. Do the drawbacks of this requirement outweigh the benefits to both the community and the individual young adults? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Many
people
Use synonyms
believe that young adults should do some mandatory
volunteer
Use synonyms
community
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
. I believe that
this
Linking Words
is a great growth opportunity for them, and the advantages of it far outweigh the disadvantages.
This
Linking Words
essay will provide evidence to support my position. There are multiple benefits to young
people
Use synonyms
participating in
community
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
.
First,
Linking Words
it increases the connection between
community
Use synonyms
components, especially between different generations.
This
Linking Words
is because
volunteer
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
creates the opportunity for different generations to discuss different points of view with each other.
Second,
Linking Words
it decreases the need for foreign workers.
As a result
Linking Words
of the availability of local workers within the
community
Use synonyms
itself,
which
Correct pronoun usage
this
show examples
has a great impact on society.
Finally
Linking Words
,
volunteer
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
teaches young
people
Use synonyms
how to be independent.
This
Linking Words
is
due to
Linking Words
the challenges they face and the skills they develop to solve problems and complete tasks by the deadline, which is important for them because these are indeed the skills needed to succeed in the
work
Use synonyms
environment.
However
Linking Words
, there are a few disadvantages to mandatory unpaid
work
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
with, teenagers can benefit from
this
Linking Words
time if they focus more on their studies, since the
community
Use synonyms
will benefit more from them if they have college degrees.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it is better to use
this
Linking Words
time to bond with their families
instead
Linking Words
of random
people
Use synonyms
;
this
Linking Words
is important since they might not find another opportunity to do so as their families grow
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
. These are limited disadvantages, since the mandatory
volunteer
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
is just a few hours per week, which will not affect their lives dramatically.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the drawbacks can be controlled. In conclusion, the drawbacks are less significant than the social and personal benefits discussed above.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
State your view in the first line of the intro and restate it in the end. Add a clear link to the task by showing how the good parts beat the bad.
coherence
Make a clear plan and use a simple topic sentence for each paragraph. Use linking words like also, but, however, and for example to move ideas smoothly.
structure
Clear view is kept through most of the essay.
content
Ideas on how work can help young people grow are easy to see.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
What to do next:
Look at other essays: