The availability of entertainment such as video games on handheld devices is harmful to individuals and to the society they live in. To what extent do you agree and disagree?

Nowadays, it is true that many parents argue that,

due to

Linking Words

the rapid development of technology, children spend much of their leisure time playing online

games

Use synonyms

, which negatively affects them.

However

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, others believe that

this

Linking Words

form of entertainment can

also

Linking Words

bring certain benefits. From my perspective,

although

Linking Words

online

games

Use synonyms

have some drawbacks, their advantages outweigh their disadvantages.

To begin

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with, one of the main drawbacks of online gaming is its negative impact on children’s

health

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. Since many youngsters spend long hours looking at small screens, they may suffer from eye strain, obesity, and other related issues.

According to

Linking Words

the World

Health

Use synonyms

Organization

Change the spelling

Organisation

show examples

(WHO), in the United States, the average daily phone usage among children has increased from five to seven hours over the

last

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five years, leading to a rise in

health

Use synonyms

problems

such

Linking Words

as headaches, poor posture, and dry eyes.

This

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suggests that excessive screen time can seriously harm children’s physical well-being.

In contrast

Linking Words

to these problems, online

games

Use synonyms

can play a constructive role in children’s development. One of the main advantages is that they help enhance essential skills

such

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as problem-solving, creativity, and strategic thinking, which are useful in education and daily life.

For example

Linking Words

, the game Minecraft, which is popular among children worldwide, requires players to use their creativity to design complex structures

such

Linking Words

as houses and castles or to apply technical skills to move objects efficiently.

Such

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activities stimulate imagination and logical thinking.

To conclude

Linking Words

although

Linking Words

playing online

games

Use synonyms

excessively may cause

health

Use synonyms

issues

such

Linking Words

as eye strain and headaches, I still believe that their educational and cognitive benefits make them more advantageous

overall

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. When used in moderation, online gaming can be a valuable tool for learning and personal development.

musabekovaferuza50

Oct 14, 2025

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task response

State your view clearly in the intro and keep it in the conclusion. Your stance is shown but you should push for a more balanced view and give a stronger note on why it matters for society.

strength

Clear overall stance

structure

Basic, organized structure (intro - body - conclusion)

example

Use of example (Minecraft) to show thinking skill

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

284 words

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The availability of entertainment such as video games on handheld devices is harmful to individuals and to the society they live in. To what extent do you agree and disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Many large cities are facing house crisis because they cannot provide enough place for new buildings. Some local governments believe that the problem can be solved by repurposing the park land for residential development because this land is better used for houses.

The older people who need employment have to compete with younger ones. What problems can this create? What are some solutions?

Today more and more people want things instantly (e.g.: goods, service, news) Why is this? Is it positive or negative development?

Many people believe that the high levels of violence in films today are causing serious social problems. What are these problems and how could they be reduced?

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.