IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that it is better for the people to live in cities where the conditions for living are better and far more comfortable. Others, however, feel that living in villages is better. Discuss both these views.

Most of the population agrees that staying in towns is a good thing because
people
Use synonyms
 will be easily accessible to the banks and some important government offices.
However
Linking Words
, others of the majority believed that
life
Use synonyms
 in the village is very
health
Replace the word
healthy
show examples
, since you can get fresh produce straight from the farm.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, living in cities is more comfortable because there is
fast
Correct word choice
a faster
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 and easier to make money,
while
Linking Words
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rural areas
people
Use synonyms
 are struggling to make more money.A very good example to consider is that, in the UK, human beings in London are
rich
Correct word choice
richer
show examples
 than those who live outside London.
Additionally
Linking Words
, folks who
stays
Correct subject-verb agreement
stay
show examples
 in the Central Business Area
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are very close to the banks and other business
office
Fix the agreement mistake
offices
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
clearly shows that they can find jobs and get good salaries that they can save and use
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
in the long run.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, humans
that are living
Wrong verb form
who live
show examples
 in the countryside
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are very fit and strong since they
are eating
Wrong verb form
eat
show examples
healthier
Punctuation problem
healthier,
show examples
 fresh fruits from the farm.
For instance
Linking Words
, in China, approximately 75% of the rural community
people
Use synonyms
 are living longer
close
Punctuation problem
, close
show examples
 to 100 years,
this
Linking Words
 is because of taking fresh products
such
Linking Words
 as fresh milk and
also
Linking Words
 herbs.
Therefore
Linking Words
, one can not doubt that village
life
Use synonyms
 is
more health
Correct word choice
healthier
show examples
 compared to city
life
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, rent and bills are
very
Rephrase
much
show examples
 cheaper in rural areas,
whereas
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 in town
Correct pronoun usage
they is
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 expensive.
For example
Linking Words
, in Zimbabwe, those who stay out of the town
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
don't pay water bills because they use manual boreholes and wells.
Finally
Linking Words
, in conclusion, it is more comfortable and better to stay in
town
Correct article usage
the town
show examples
 centre rather than in villages,
hence
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 can easily make capital and enjoy their fast
life
Use synonyms
.

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task management
Plan your answer first. Write the plan in 3 parts: what you say for city life, what you say for village life, and your own view.
coherence
Use simple links to join ideas. Words like and, but, also, for example, in the end help the flow.
content
Give a clear reason for each point and use one or two easy examples you know well.
achievement
The essay shows both sides of the topic.
content
It uses real places and facts to back up ideas.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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