IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts below show favourite social media channels from 2011 to 2013. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The given pie diagrams
illustrates
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrate
show examples
 the favourite social media channels
such
Linking Words
 as
Facebook
Use synonyms
, Twitter, LinkedIn, Google+ and
Pinterest
Use synonyms
 for 3 years
ranging
Punctuation problem
, ranging
show examples
 from 2011 to 2013.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that
Facebook
Use synonyms
 dominated in all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
three years,
while
Linking Words
 Twitter and LinkedIn maintained second and third positions consistently throughout. Even though
Facebook
Use synonyms
 maintained its first position being the most chosen media channel, there is a drop in the percentage of usage,
while
Linking Words
 all other categories showed a climb. Turning to
Facebook
Use synonyms
, even though there is a decline in the usage of
Facebook
Use synonyms
 from 2011 to 2013, it maintained its first position throughout being the most liked media channel. From 2011 to 2013, the percentage had dropped from 59 to 38, with a drop of around 10% in each year. Getting into Twitter and LinkedIn, there is a moderate
increase
Use synonyms
 from 2011 to 2013, with at least 2%
increase
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every year.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it clearly shows its increasing popularity among the public. Looking at Google+ and
Pinterest
Use synonyms
, both Google+ and
Pinterest
Use synonyms
 had an
increase
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
usage from 2011 to 2013.
Pinterest
Use synonyms
 ranked lowest with 5% in 2011, 6% in 2012 and 8% in 2013.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Google+
also
Linking Words
 maintained a steady
increase
Use synonyms
 from 5% in 2011 to 14% in 2013, which is almost triple
than
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that in the beginning.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words facebook, google+, pinterest, increase with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "drop" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 4 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • pie chart
  • percentage
  • trend
  • popularity
  • social media channel
  • data
  • overview
  • rise
  • decline
  • shift
  • platform
  • distribution
  • user preference
  • notable
  • significant change
  • comparison
  • highlight
  • survey
  • analysis
  • demographics
  • year-on-year change
What to do next:
Look at other essays: