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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that competition at work, at school and daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views an give your own opinion.

Nowadays,
competition
Use synonyms
 has become a basis for reaching everything, both at school and at work.
Whereas
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 some people argue that being cooperative is much needed, I personally think that
competition
Use synonyms
 is a good way to make people develop. To explain
this
Linking Words
 statement,
this
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both views. In
this
Linking Words
 era, more activities need coordination and collaboration with some stakeholders to get a better strategy.
For example
Linking Words
, Paragon, as a national company that produces health and beauty products, is having a collaboration with the University of Indonesia, in order to share knowledge about the company itself and attract new employees from the students. But, many companies do
this
Linking Words
 kind of stuff with the same university, which means, becoming cooperative is an easy way to do if you have won a
competition
Use synonyms
 between other companies. So, I think what we should do is learning how to show a better quality that we have, from a
competition
Use synonyms
. Supporting the idea before, a
competition
Use synonyms
 both at the teaching institute and workplace is a good thing to train ourselves how to survive in those kinds of issues.
For instance
Linking Words
, with more years of learning about doing great in homework at school, we make ourselves do the same thing for our errands at the office.
Then
Linking Words
, hopefully, it will bring us to get rational wages based on our hard work. Eventually, I think
this
Linking Words
 even gives more positive value to survive in our daily lives. To summarise, being cooperative is good for maintaining a company, but to survive in daily life, we need to know the methods that we can get by learning from a
competition
Use synonyms
. So, I firmly believe that more people will improve in their daily lives with their experience competing in something. As a recommendation,
this
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 character must be taught in school at
first,
Linking Words
in a positive way. So, it can be predicted in the future that everyone will be ready to live their own life.

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structure
Plan your essay with a clear view in the introduction and two main ideas in the body. Use one idea per paragraph.
language
Break long sentences into shorter ones and fix grammar where possible.
coherence
Use simple transitions to link ideas, e.g., 'First', 'Also', 'But', 'For example'.
content
State your own view clearly in the intro and repeat it in the conclusion, linking to the examples.
content
The writer tries to discuss both views and gives a personal opinion.
examples
Real-world examples are included to support points.
structure
There is a closing summary that restates the view.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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