IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You have learned from a news article that a real estate company is going to build a shopping centre near your home. However, you think that the shopping centre should not be built there. Write a letter to the city counsellor. In your letter, say how you have learned about the plan explain how it is going to negatively affect the residential area where you live say what you think the city council should do about it

Dear Sir, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to inform you about the article that I came across
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 is about the establishment of
shopping
Correct article usage
a shopping
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 centre near our locality. Yesterday, I was reading
newspaper
Correct article usage
a newspaper
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 in which CN real estate group has decided to build a mega mall near our residence, which could bring new
employement
Correct your spelling
employment
as well as
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 other
amenites
Correct your spelling
amenities
such
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 as gym, retail shops and business
centers
Change the spelling
centres
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. I feel
disheartned
Correct your spelling
disheartened
 by
this
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 step because it will adversely
effect
Use the right word
affect
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 our residents in two major aspects.
First,
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pollution from
the
Correct article usage
apply
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vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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will hinder the peace and harmony of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society.
Secondly
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, the traffic snarls
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 increasing rapidly
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 to make things worse, building a shopping centre will
leads
Wrong verb form
lead
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 to the scarcity of parking. I strongly assert that
Real
Correct article usage
the Real
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 estate group needs to do
survey
Correct article usage
a survey
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 about the locality before initiating any
further
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 work action.
Moreover
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, building a shopping mall near
outskirts
Correct article usage
the outskirts
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 can mitigate the problem of traffic congestion and pollution. I am looking forward to hearing from you in
this
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 matter.
Furthermore
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, any open line of communication in
this
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 matter would be highly appreciated. Yours
Faithfully
Fix capitalization
faithfully
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, Erika lust

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structure
Put one main idea in each paragraph.
content
Say clearly what the council should do, for example ask for a proper survey and to hold a public talk.
language
Use simple and clear words. Check spell and grammar.
cohesion
Link ideas with words like 'first', 'also', 'then', 'however'.
form
Tone is formal and polite.
form
Greeting and closing are present.
content
Clear purpose to write.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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