IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that the government should spend more money on public transportation, while others think it should focus on improving roads for private vehicles. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In many countries, owning private
vehicles
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 has become much easier than in the past, leading many
people
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 to prefer using their own
cars
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 rather than public
transportation
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.
While
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 private
vehicles
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 offer convenience, I strongly believe that investing in public transport is a better long-term solution. On the one hand, private
vehicles
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 provide flexibility and comfort for individuals.
People
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 can travel at any time without depending on fixed schedules, which is particularly important for families with busy routines.
In addition
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, in some areas, public
transportation
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 systems are poorly maintained and unreliable, making private
cars
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 a more attractive option.
As a result
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, many households choose to purchase
cars
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 to support their daily activities,
such
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 as commuting to work or school.
However
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, the increasing use of private
vehicles
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 has created serious problems for cities. Traffic congestion has become more severe, roads are under greater pressure, and air pollution continues to rise. Expanding road infrastructure may seem like a solution, but
this
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 often encourages even more
people
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 to drive, which worsens the problem over time.
Therefore
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,
this
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 approach is neither efficient nor sustainable.
In contrast
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, allocating more government funding to public
transportation
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 can significantly reduce these issues. Improving the quality of buses and trains, ensuring punctual schedules, and offering affordable fares can encourage
people
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 to shift away from private
cars
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.
For example
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, modern and environmentally friendly buses can make public transport more comfortable and attractive.
This
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 would not only reduce traffic congestion but
also
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 improve air quality and create quieter, more liveable cities. In conclusion,
although
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 private
vehicles
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 offer personal convenience, the advantages of investing in public
transportation
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 clearly outweigh the disadvantages. By prioritising public transport, governments can address traffic problems, protect the environment, and improve the
overall
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 quality of urban life.

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task
Make your view clear in the first paragraph and keep it at the end. Add one line that says your view is better and why.
coherence
Use more link words to connect ideas, like also, but, however, and so.
development
Give more real examples. A second example or facts help.
grammar
Check word use and keep short forms to use simple words.
task
Clear view on the issue and a balanced talk on both sides.
coherence
Good flow with 'on the one hand' and 'in contrast' to show contrast.
structure
Conclusion restates view well.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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