IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie
chart
Use synonyms
 illustrates the distribution of
dance
Use synonyms
 classes in four locations, and the bar
chart
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 presents the number of
students
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 in three types of two age
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group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
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 of
dance
Use synonyms
 classes in a town in Australia who are currently attending.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 private studios are
Use synonyms
first
Correct article usage
the first
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 choice for most
dance
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classses'
Correct your spelling
classes'
 location. Meanwhile, Ballet is the most popular
dance
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.
According to
Linking Words
 the pie
chart
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,
The
Fix capitalization
the
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 percentage of private studios
rank
Correct subject-verb agreement
ranks
show examples
first
Use synonyms
 at 48%, followed by school halls and community halls and others (24% and 18% respectively). College-based studios occupy
smallest
Correct article usage
the smallest
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
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proportion of
location
Fix the agreement mistake
locations
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 at 10%. In the bar
chart
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, the
dance
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 classes are
separate
Replace the word
separated
show examples
2
Change preposition
into 2
show examples
Use synonyms
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
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 by age. In
under
Correct article usage
the under
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 11
group
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, most
students
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 choose to study ballet,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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reach
Correct subject-verb agreement
reaches
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at
Change preposition
apply
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approximately 600, followed by tap and modern at around 450 and 300
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
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. In comparison with another
group
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which
Punctuation problem
, which
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is
students
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age
Replace the word
aged
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 11 to 16, the figures
of
Change preposition
for
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 ballet
only
Verb problem
are only
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 half of
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first
Correct article usage
the first
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group
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 at 300.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the
students
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 of tap have similar figures
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
Use synonyms
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
group
Use synonyms
 at roughly 420.
In addition
Linking Words
,
The
Fix capitalization
the
show examples
 number of modern
dance
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students
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higher
Verb problem
is higher
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 than
Use synonyms
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
group
Use synonyms
 and
reaching
Wrong verb form
reaches
show examples
 520.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, dance, students, group, first with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • attending
  • currently
  • location
  • variety
  • ballet
  • hip-hop
  • contemporary
  • jazz
  • venues
  • popularity
  • attendees
  • juxtaposing
  • correlating
  • proximity
  • cultural influences
  • trends
  • anomalies
  • monopoly
  • proportion
  • distribution
  • enrollment
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