IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their own country. Nowadays, they have more opportunity to study abroad. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development? You should your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your argument with examples and relevant evidence.

Many
people
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 believe that governments can take additional measures to reduce
crime
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,
while
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 others argue that very little can be done to change criminal behaviour.
This
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 essay will discuss both perspectives before explaining why I believe that
further
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 action is both possible and necessary. Supporters of taking more action argue that
crime
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 can be reduced through stricter laws and better enforcement. They believe that when penalties are strong and consistently applied,
people
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 are less likely to commit offences.
For example
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, increasing police presence in high‑risk areas or introducing harsher punishments for violent crimes can discourage individuals from breaking the law. From
this
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 point of view,
crime
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 is not inevitable; it can be controlled through effective policies and strong legal systems.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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 think that
crime
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 cannot be significantly reduced because its causes are deeply rooted in society. Factors
such
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 as poverty, unemployment, and lack of education may push individuals toward illegal activities, and these issues cannot be solved quickly.
In addition
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, some argue that even with strict laws, determined criminals will still find ways to commit offences.
Therefore
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, they believe that only limited progress can be made in reducing
crime
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. In my opinion,
although
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crime
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 cannot be eliminated completely, governments can still take meaningful steps to reduce it. A balanced approach that combines strict law enforcement with social support—
such
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 as education, job training, and rehabilitation—can address both the causes and the consequences of
crime
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. In conclusion,
while
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 some
people
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 think that little can be done to prevent
crime
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, I believe that effective policies and social programmes can significantly reduce criminal behaviour and create safer communities.

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development
Add one or two more specific examples or facts to back each point.
coherence
Use clear link words to show how ideas fit together, such as 'however', 'in addition', 'therefore'.
organization
Keep to one idea per paragraph and connect it to your overall view.
grammar
Check grammar and use a mix of simple and longer sentences.
content
Clear view that crime can be reduced with a mix of law and help.
structure
Good use of examples to show both sides.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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