IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In some large cities, people have to pay a fee when they drive their cars into the city centre, in a policy to reduce the number of cars in the city. Give reasons in support of and opposing this traffic congestion policy, and give your own opinion

Urbanisation and modern life have presented
people
Use synonyms
 with a number of challenges and decisions.
However
Linking Words
, the crux of the matter is related to traffic jams in megacities. In some urban areas, the high-ranking officials pass laws to decrease the number of cars on the street,
such
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 as paying money as a fine for those who drive their cars into the
city
Use synonyms
 centre. In my view,
although
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 underestimating the importance of imposing stricter laws and measures is not logical to control
such
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 a trend, it does not necessarily mean that it does not have any disadvantages. On the one hand, increasing the number of vehicles on the street is a common problem in big cities. To clarify, these places are home to many
people
Use synonyms
. If each person drives their own car downtown, traffic congestion can be expected, which results in air pollution
due to
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 carbon dioxide emissions from these motor vehicles.
Hence
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,
this
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 is the responsibility of the government to stop drivers from going to urban areas, especially during rush hours.
Otherwise
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, residents may struggle to survive
as a result
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 of a great amount of toxic materials in the air.
On the other hand
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,
such
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 a policy can pose a threat to the lives of those who make money through transportation.
For example
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, in my country, Iran, many create a source of income for themselves by driving. If they are unable to get
people
Use synonyms
 to the
city
Use synonyms
 centre, their customers may be reduced significantly.
As a result
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, they become reluctant to continue their jobs because of low income.
This
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 not only endangers the level of income for drivers, but
also
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 affects society negatively as a whole.
Moreover
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, equality goes a long way. There are some emergency situations in which individuals have no other option but to enter the
city
Use synonyms
 centre. If they get a fine, it puts a lot of financial pressure on them, especially for ordinary
people
Use synonyms
 in society, since they are really vulnerable in terms of financial matters. So, monetary policy can not be the best solution for
this
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 crux. In conclusion,
although
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 reducing traffic jams is a must for the government
due to
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 its severe complications, even if they have to impose heavy penalties on residents, it does not necessarily mean that it can be beneficial for all
city
Use synonyms
 dwellers. In my view, the cons of
such
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 a trend outweigh the pros.

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structure
Your view is clear, but start with a short line that says your view.
structure
Explain both sides with one or two clear ideas then give your view at the end.
support
Add one or two more examples that relate to your points, and keep them simple.
style
Use short, simple sentences to keep your message clear.
language
Check grammar and use linking words like 'and', 'but', 'so', 'therefore' to join ideas.
position
Your stance is clear and it is easy to find your main point.
coherence
You use 'on the one hand' and 'on the other hand' well to show two sides.
structure
The essay follows a good shape: intro, two body parts, and a conclusion.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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