IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people focus on news in their country, while others think it is more important to be aware of international news. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many
people
Use synonyms
 stay tuned to the
news
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 in their
country
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;
however
Linking Words
, being conscious of international
news
Use synonyms
 is thought to be more important. I will discuss both views, and I tend to focus on international
news
Use synonyms
 because it is related to our
country
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, including global economics, technology development, and climate change.
To begin
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 with, there is a plethora of
news
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 in our
country
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, especially in accidents,political scandals and other soft
news
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.
Therefore
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, is it always important to watch domestic
news
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 in my
country
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? Actually, that's not the case. Sometimes, audiences struggle to determine whether information is true or false.
This
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 is because the media is being economical with the truth in order to increase traffic.
For example
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, my parents often watch the
news
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 during dinner,
whereas
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 I have already seen some of the
news
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 on social media. It is hard to get the latest and meaningful
news
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 in my
country
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. The TV
news
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 is likely to report soft
news
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 , which is appealing to
people
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 to watch.
This
Linking Words
 kind of national
news
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 is thought to be
dispensable
Use the right word
indispensable
show examples
 in our daily life.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, international
news
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 is believed to be indispensable in our lives.
Due to
Linking Words
 globalisation,
people
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 have a tendency to focus on global
news
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. It has an impact on stocks, business and technology.
For instance
Linking Words
, if two countries were at war, oil prices and stocks would be influenced.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Taiwan has developed a high-tech industry since the 1970s. The Taiwanese stock market is connected with America and Japan , so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
people
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 are likely to receive international
news
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. Being aware of the
news
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 can help acquire knowledge.
As a result
Linking Words
 of international
news
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, it plays an important role in our daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. In conclusion, some
people
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 tend to focus on national
news
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;
nevertheless
Linking Words
, I tend to concentrate on international
news
Use synonyms
 , which is more significant than another.

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task
Try to make a clear plan for each paragraph. Say what view you will discuss, then give a reason, then a short example. End with a clear opinion.
coherence
Use simple link words to show ideas. Words like also, but, however, for example, so help the flow.
content
Add more clear examples for both sides. Show how domestic news can affect daily life and how international news can touch work and money.
grammar
Fix mistakes in spelling and spaces. Use full stop, comma, and capital letters in right places.
lexical
Keep the tone calm. Do not use very hard words. If you use a hard word, explain it simply.
content
The writer presents a clear preference for international news.
coherence
There is a contrast between domestic and international news.
content
There are examples to support points, such as effects on price when countries go to war.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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