Some people think that social networking sites have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Over the
last
decade, social platforms
have increasingly gained popularity around the world. These developments, therefore
, have brought numerous harmful effects to society. Despite the many negative ramifications that may derive from the argument, social media
is likely to be advantageous to both humans and communities due to
valuable resources and good networking in work outlined below
Concerning disadvantaged impacts nowadays, social media
platforms
not only have often given wrong information but also
encouraged citizens to follow consumerism. First,
in terms of the stock market, many people
have used it to gain their beneficial personal, by the way of creating several content incorrect documents. Shareholders, for instance
, could lose their money to investment due to
following an unprofessional person on the internet. Second,
advertisements have created the importance of consumerism in life through news, online newspapers, or blogs to consumers, especially for young generations. It, therefore
, takes teenage girls as a shining example, they easily follow the trends on social media
which often introduce new run-fashion, although
they don't have any in need of it.
Nevertheless
, despite the drawbacks above, media
platforms
also
have two outstanding benefits which are the richness of knowledge in all things and networking with excellent people
in the same major. First,
with the beneficial information on online sites, individuals could learn anything that they want to improve, even becoming professional people
in their jobs, without attending a traditional classroom. Some examples of this
, particularly, include popular free documents on the internet such
as cooking, English, or even investments that are plenty of appearances on online platforms
. Second,
without worrying about how to network with brilliant people
in our jobs, LinkedIn is one of the best choices to do it. By this
, many people
can have a good relationship with other professors, leading to studying more valuable lessons and even having a suitable job by introducing.
In conclusion, while
online media
platforms
could give a large number of disadvantages, the impact of positive benefits remain
the most preferred choice of using for Correct subject-verb agreement
remains
people
since a great deal of information and chance to connect with others in work online. Because of these merits, I believe that social platforms
will be developed by their potential in the foreseeable future.Submitted by okookk123456 on
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task achievement
Strengthen your argument by providing more robust examples and evidence. For instance, you mentioned consumerism among teenagers but did not provide detailed studies or statistics to support this claim.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear and distinct focus. For example, you could separate the negative impacts on individuals from those on society for greater clarity.
coherence cohesion
Try to avoid vague language. Instead of saying "many people have used it," specify who these people are to make your argument more compelling.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps provide structure.
task achievement
You include both sides of the argument effectively, which shows a balanced view.
task achievement
Your use of specific examples, such as LinkedIn for networking, adds depth to your argument.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?