IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8.5

You have bought a new mobile phone and in a few days of purchase, it has stopped working. You have spoken to the company representative a week ago but it has still not been repaired. Write a letter to the company. In your letter, » introduce yourself » explain the situation » say what action you would like the company to take

#phone #purchase #company #representative #week #situation #action
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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to request the replacement of my newly purchased Nokia N93 smartphone. My name is Jacob, and I reside in William Street Colony. I purchased the handset
last
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 Monday. Unfortunately, after two to three hours of use, its software displayed an error and eventually the screen went black. I promptly contacted customer care and filed a complaint under reference number P262656. Despite assurances from your representative that the issue would be resolved within one week, it is now Friday of the following week, and I have not received any communication from your company.
Therefore
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, I would greatly appreciate it if you could personally look into
this
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 matter. I have fulfilled all requirements for the replacement of the product, and I kindly request that you initiate the replacement process for my mobile phone to avoid potential legal action. I trust that you will investigate my complaint thoroughly and take
necessary
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the necessary
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 action as soon as possible. Yours faithfully, Jacob Brown
Submitted by Mrjit147 on

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coherence cohesion
Your letter is clear and well-organized, but ensure you separate different ideas into distinct paragraphs more consistently. For instance, the introduction, explanation of the situation, and request for action could each be in their own paragraphs.
task achievement
You have covered all the essential points asked in the prompt comprehensively, which demonstrates a solid understanding of the task.
task achievement
The tone of your letter is suitably formal and respectful, which is appropriate for this kind of communication.
coherence cohesion
Your writing flows logically, making it easy to follow your message.
coherence cohesion
The opening and closing of the letter are appropriately handled, adding to the overall effectiveness of the communication.
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