IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The diagram below shows the life cycle of the Monarch butterfly. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram provides key
informention
Correct your spelling
information
 about the
cycly
Correct your spelling
cycle
 of the Monarch butterfly.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear
form
Use the right word
from
show examples
 the graph that
recycle
Wrong verb form
the recycling
show examples
jouney
Correct your spelling
journey
 is a
mulite
Correct your spelling
multiple-stage
stage
Use synonyms
lienar
Correct your spelling
linear
 process that involves nine steps.
Inaddition
Correct your spelling
In addition
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
 process
begin
Correct subject-verb agreement
begins
show examples
 with eggs on milkweed to newly hatched
larva
Fix the agreement mistake
larvae
show examples
,
Linking Words
Whereas
Fix capitalization
whereas
show examples
 it
end
Correct subject-verb agreement
ends
show examples
 with migration north
also
Linking Words
 mating and egg laying .
According to
Linking Words
 what is
shown
Punctuation problem
shown,
show examples
 the process
start
Correct subject-verb agreement
starts
show examples
eggs
Change preposition
with eggs
show examples
 on milkweed
Punctuation problem
, than
show examples
than
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 after 14 days
became
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
 newly hatched
larva
Fix the agreement mistake
larvae
show examples
. In the next step.
the
Fix capitalization
The
show examples
 diagram
shown
Wrong verb form
shows
show examples
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 egg going to
caterpillar
Correct article usage
a caterpillar
show examples
 on milkweed.
Beside
Use the right word
Besides
show examples
 the caterpillar on milkweed
change
Correct subject-verb agreement
changes
show examples
 to
attachment
Correct article usage
an attachment
show examples
 of
larva
Correct article usage
the larva
show examples
at the end
Linking Words
 of
larval
Correct article usage
the larval
show examples
stage
Use synonyms
. In terms of after ten
days
Punctuation problem
days,
show examples
 we
inter
Use the right word
enter
show examples
 to pupal
stage
Use synonyms
to begin
Linking Words
 with
Correct article usage
the chrysalis
show examples
chrysalis
Punctuation problem
chrysalis,
show examples
then
Linking Words
 the Monarch butterfly
became emergence
Wrong verb form
emerges
show examples
of
Change preposition
as
show examples
adult
Correct article usage
an adult
show examples
.
Finally
Linking Words
, the
last
Linking Words
stage
Use synonyms
 is
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 adult
stage
Use synonyms
Punctuation problem
, it
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
started
Wrong verb form
starts
show examples
 after six months
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 migration north to searching about married to mating and egg laying

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words stage with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • life cycle
  • Monarch butterfly
  • eggs
  • milkweed plants
  • larvae
  • caterpillars
  • feed
  • chrysalis
  • pupa
  • metamorphosis
  • emerge
  • adult butterfly
  • repeat
What to do next:
Look at other essays: