Some people say that there is too much harmful content on the internet. They say the only way to make the internet safe is for the government to censor the content of websites. To what extent do you think the government should control what information is available on the internet? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The advancement of technology has involved social media now, and everyone will be allowed to access any information they need. More
people
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think that it should be managed by the
government
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. I personally agree to make the
internet
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safer than before, in order to save society, and
this
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essay will explain why.
Firstly
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, there is so much harmful content that someone can easily watch on the
internet
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.
For example
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, recently, there was a report about shooting a white owl, because it was very noisy at night, causing
people
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cannot sleep well. Sadly,
this
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video was not restricted or banned by the officials, allowing everyone can watch
this
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.
Moreover
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, there are
also
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many unnecessary videos about sexual harassment, crime, bullying, and other topics.
Secondly
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, it is going to be extremely bad if children see
this
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kind of content. As we know, children are still learning by seeing, doing, and trying.
This
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bad video can influence them to do the same.
For instance
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,
while
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kids see someone punch and kick an animal, they tend to be violent to their pets, or even severely violent to humans in the future. So, I think an uneducational content like
this
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should be controlled by the authority.
On the other hand
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, if the
government
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excessively controls the
internet
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, it might cause disadvantages. As an example, it will be hard to access notable knowledge from abroad, which is really needed for developing it. So, it will be better if it is not overcontrolled. But, I still in my opinion that the
government
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have to control it as much as possible. To summarise, it can bring more advantages as the
government
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controls the
internet
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,
such
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as avoiding
people
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and kids from the bad attitudes. So, I firmly believe that
this
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can give more benefits to society. After thorough analysis, it can be predicted that the more the
government
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keep an eye on social media, the more
people
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can better socialise and respect each other.

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task response
Your view on the topic is clear, but the answer is not strong enough. State your main point once and keep to it.
coherence
Link ideas with simple words. Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence and use linking words like 'also', 'but', 'however'.
language
Some sentences are long or hard to read. Break long sentences and use simple grammar.
content
Examples should fit the point. The owl video example is not linked to the law or safety idea. Use clear facts or common cases.
structure
End with a short, clear conclusion that restates your view.
task response
You take a clear view on the issue.
coherence
There is a basic flow with 'First/Second/On the other hand' to show steps.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Censorship
  • Freedom of expression
  • Hate speech
  • Misinformation
  • Extremism
  • Regulations
  • Cyberbullying
  • Self-regulation
  • Transparency
  • Vulnerable groups
  • Algorithms
  • Digital culture
  • Personal freedoms
  • Illegal content
  • Internet safety
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