IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

in the recent year there has been considerable rise in crime committed by young people in cities. what has caused this ? what solutions can you suggest ?

In the past
year
Add a comma
year,
show examples
 there
is
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
 a significant surge in the
crimes
Use synonyms
 committed by
youngsters
Use synonyms
 in urban areas, because of
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 reasons
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 may include, lack of ethical and moral values,
unemployment
Use synonyms
, and
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of proper
skills
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 issue can be resolved by taking the proper measures against
unemployment
Use synonyms
;
furthermore
Linking Words
,
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should introduce certain internship programs in
order
Use synonyms
 to educate the
youngsters
Use synonyms
. On the first hand, significant portion of
crimes
Use synonyms
 are committed by the young
people
Use synonyms
 there are certain causes to
this
Linking Words
;
however
Linking Words
,
unemployment
Use synonyms
 is the major and most concerning cause to
this
Linking Words
 problem, as in our society there is a vast majority of the
people
Use synonyms
 who are unemployed, in
order
Use synonyms
 to meet their financial needs they try to commit illegal things like, stealing and snaching.
For instance
Linking Words
,
their
Use the right word
there
show examples
 is a significant surge in the proportion of
crimes
Use synonyms
 and street fights in
pakistan
Fix capitalization
Pakistan
show examples
due to
Linking Words
unemployment
Use synonyms
Punctuation problem
. People
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 often do not have suitable jobs;
therefore
Linking Words
, in
order
Use synonyms
 to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 their financial
needs
Punctuation problem
needs,
show examples
 they choose the wrong path.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, solutions to
this
Linking Words
 major and concerning problem may include
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 proper actions
should be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
taken by the governmental institutes in
order
Use synonyms
 to reduce
unemployment
Use synonyms
, certain internship programs have to be
introduce
Wrong verb form
introduced
show examples
 by the government
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 help
people
Use synonyms
 in enhancing and developing their
skills
Use synonyms
. Authorities should provide significant funding to the
youngsters
Use synonyms
 who are seeking
knowlege
Correct your spelling
knowledge
 and
skills
Use synonyms
;
For example
Linking Words
, in
Germany
Add a comma
Germany,
show examples
 the education is completely free for the students
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 may
leads
Wrong verb form
lead
show examples
 to a decline in
such
Linking Words
 kind of
crimes
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
this
Linking Words
 surge in the
crimes
Use synonyms
 committed by the
youngsters
Use synonyms
 can be caused by certain factors like
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
unemployment
Use synonyms
 and lack of proper
skills
Use synonyms
. These issues can be resolved by introducing different internship programs for skill development and by promoting free education.
by
Fix capitalization
By
show examples
 implementing
these
Punctuation problem
these,
show examples
this
Linking Words
 issue can be reduced significantly.

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structure
Plan your essay before you write. State your view in one short line in the start. Then give two or three clear ideas and finish with a short end.
cohesion
Put one idea in each paragraph. Start with a clear sentence that tells what the paragraph is about. Use simple links to show how ideas go.
content
Give real, simple facts and stay on topic. Explain how each idea helps solve the problem.
language
Use easy and clear words. Check spell and grammar. Do not use long or hard word not in common use.
structure
Use a clean form: Intro, cause and fix, and end. Keep a short and clear plan.
content
The writer starts to give causes and a fix.
language
There are examples like Pakistan and Germany to show a point.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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