IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think it is more impỏtant to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems such as railways and trams. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is an opinion stating that the government should prioritise
money
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 spent on
roads
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 rather than public transportation
systems
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.
While
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 the development of both these infrastructures is imperative for mobility, I agree that
this
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money
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 should be spent on
roads
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 for the reasons
this
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 essay elaborates.
To begin
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 with,
roads
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 and transportation
systems
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 are essential for economic activities, because products manufactured in plants and staple crops are brought to the cities using these public facilities.
However
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, in big cities, road length has remained relatively unchanged for many years, meanwhile the number of vehicles is increasing more rapidly;
hence
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,
traffic
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 congestion has become a serious problem.
Therefore
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, proponents of spending more
money
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 on
roads
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 contend that
this
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 policy is able to reduce
traffic
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 congestion.
On the other hand
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, spending
money
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 on public transport
systems
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also
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 has its own benefits. By taking
this
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 policy, more people will shift from private to public transportation, which leads to a reduction in
traffic
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 jams.
For instance
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, in Jakarta,
according to
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 a survey by The Jakarta Post, the monorail built in 2015 is effective at reducing
traffic
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 jams by 7% per year.
Furthermore
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, societies used to driving a private car will utilise public transport
systems
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, and eventually cause less air pollution and fewer greenhouse gas emissions to be released into the atmosphere.
For example
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, in China, the introduction of railways since the beginning of 2000 has been able to reduce air pollution by approximately 11% annually. In conclusion, I contend that
while
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 both of these spending options are imperative to reduce
traffic
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 congestion, building public transport
systems
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 should be prioritised because it will alleviate the harmful effects of air pollution and greenhouse gas emissions.

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content
Keep one clear view from start to end.
coherence
Link ideas with simple bridge words like also, but, so, and then.
argument
Make the reasons fit the view, and tell why each idea matters.
fact
Check facts or use safe, easy facts, not wrong numbers.
content
The essay tries to talk about both sides of the issue.
content
Examples are used to show points.
structure
There is a clear end that states a view.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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