IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is true that the touristic parts of a
city
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 are quite expensive compared to the rest of the
city
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.
While
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 some people tend towards the viewpoint that you should pay more for certain
attractions
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 as a tourist, I would have to support the idea that cultural and historical activities should be more
affordable
Punctuation problem
affordable,
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 whether you are a tourist or not. On the one hand, there are clear arguments that
touristic
Replace the word
tourist
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attractions
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 ought to have a higher price than regular activities in a
city
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. One of the main reasons can be that it is beneficial to the local economy.
This
Linking Words
 means that
certain
Correct article usage
a certain
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cities
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city's
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 main income is generated by the tourism industry. Another reason can be that the owners of those
touristic
Replace the word
tourist
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attractions
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 tend to be obsessed with large profits.
For example
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, if you go to the coastal tourist hubs in
Romania
Punctuation problem
Romania,
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 you would notice that everything is overpriced.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I agree with the viewpoint that foreign
visitors
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 should pay more than local
visitors
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 in order to sustain the local economy and profit.
Firstly
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, I believe that even though tourists should pay more than local
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visitors
Punctuation problem
visitors,
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 the prices should still be affordable.
This
Linking Words
 is because I think that overpriced services and products tend to create a bad reputation for the
city
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.
Secondly
Linking Words
, I
also
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 feel that local
visitors
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 should have at least some discounts on their own cultural and historical activities. In conclusion, it seems to me that there are ups and downs when it comes to the prices of cultural and historical
attractions
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,
Punctuation problem
. While
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while
Linking Words
 they benefit the local economy, they
also
Linking Words
 create a bad reputation for the cities. I believe that there could be a more balanced approach to
this
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,
Punctuation problem
;
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 the
overall
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 prices could be lowered, and the locals could have some discounts
as
Punctuation problem
, as
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 it is part of their own culture and history.

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task
Be clear on your view. State if you agree or not at the start, then keep to it in all parts.
content
Add more idea and link how each idea shows your view. Do not only say good or bad, but show why and how.
content
Fix the detail when you name price. Some facts are right, but the talk should stay fair to side.
structure
You use clear 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' to show two ideas.
structure
There is a clear end that sums up.
content
Some good idea about price and economy are in your text.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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