IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The bar chart below shows the total number of Olympic medals won by twelve different countries.

Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the United States has the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of
medals
Use synonyms
including
Punctuation problem
, including
show examples
 gold, silver and bronze;
furthermore
Linking Words
, the Soviet Union and the UK have the second highest and the third highest
number
Use synonyms
 of
medals
Use synonyms
 , respectively.
However
Linking Words
, other nations have an average below 500. On the one hand, the United States has a total of around 2300
medals
Use synonyms
 , including all, the Soviet Union comes after the United States , having 1000
medals
Use synonyms
 , including gold, silver and bronze. The United Kingdom comes right after the Soviet Union with around 750
medals
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Germany and France have 500
medals
Use synonyms
 in total;
however
Linking Words
, France has a slightly higher
number
Use synonyms
 of gold
medals
Use synonyms
 in total. Other nations have a total average below 500;
moreover
Linking Words
,
japan
Fix capitalization
Japan
show examples
 has the lowest
number
Use synonyms
 of
medals
Use synonyms
 in total

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, medals with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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