IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that advertising is extremely succesfull at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, we are living in a digital world , and it has replaced the traditional ways of doing business in a number of fields , like advertising. Now, the society is split into two halves
discussing
Punctuation problem
, discussing
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 whether these digital marketing strategies are capable enough to make them a product or not. In
this
Linking Words
 era of social media, what truly persuades a user is getting repeated suggestions to buy a product they browsed. It influences the human mind and encourages them to give it a try. Recently, I searched for a honeymoon package in Mexico on Safari , and now, my Instagram is full of advertisements suggesting cheap and luxurious Mexico stays. Honestly, I am just on the edge of booking one of the deals.
This
Linking Words
 shows the power of
commercial
Correct article usage
a commercial
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. Though it's true that these advertisements follow you like a shadow but
due to
Linking Words
 increased awareness and how a lot of people have reported scams after clicking on these advertisements, it is common to pay no heed to them. Nowadays, scammers replicate renowned products' websites and
then
Linking Words
 advertise those at great discounts. When a user clicks on the payment option, they loot your hard-earned money.
Thus
Linking Words
, people have stopped paying attention to these. In my opinion, it is hard to say if somebody can be influenced every time with these marketing strategies, but you do get persuaded quite a number of times.

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task response
State a clear view on both sides of the issue, then give your own clear opinion at the end.
coherence
Organize with a short intro, two body parts for views, and a short conclusion.
language use
Use simple, common words and avoid long phrases.
content
Add specific and varied examples to show points.
grammar
Check grammar and tone.
content
Uses a real life example of how ads can stay in mind.
tone
Personal tone helps to connect with the reader.
structure
The text shows some view of both sides and ends with an opinion.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuasive
  • consumer behavior
  • brand awareness
  • emotional appeal
  • targeted advertising
  • social media platforms
  • ad fatigue
  • desensitized
  • ad-blockers
  • overexposure
  • brand loyalty
  • repetitive
  • irrelevant
  • personalized advertising
  • influencer marketing
  • interactive ads
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