IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

It is generally accepted that exercise is good for children and teenagers. Therefore physical education and sports should be compulsory for all students in all schools. What do you think?

The
education
Use synonyms
 system has placed an emphasis on physical
education
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 and developing a healthy body, as exercise is a crucial aspect of a child's development and general well-being.
Moreover
Linking Words
, many schools have promoted competitive
sports
Use synonyms
programs
Use synonyms
 as both a way of having a healthy body and nurturing teambuilding skills within a high-pressure environment. It is with these reasons that I believe physical
education
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 and competitive
sports
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 are an important aspect of school and should be compulsory for all students to participate in. As stated beforehand, exercise is a great way for
children
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 and
adolescents
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 alike to train their bodies and maintain a standard-to-high level of fitness. These exercises,
such
Linking Words
 as cardiovascular exercises and strength training, are optimal to ensure
growth
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 before and after puberty, as they carry numerous benefits that are essential to
growth
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; these benefits range from increased endurance, physical strength, heart function, and more.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, structured exercise
programs
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 for
children
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 will carry these benefits later into life and will
also
Linking Words
 contribute to healthy habits that will ensure they remain fit for years to come. Competitive
sports
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 will
also
Linking Words
 play an important part in a child's
growth
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;
sports
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 will teach teamwork, motoric skills, and performing under high-pressure environments.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
children
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 and
adolescents
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 will learn how to develop social relationships with their peers, and will have a common goal to bond over.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, many schools have active
sports
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programs
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, ranging from their own competitive teams to clubs that focus on individual
sports
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. Ultimately, competitive
sports
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 are a vital aspect of
growth
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 in both
children
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 and
adolescents
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, as they teach important life skills
while
Linking Words
 keeping them physically fit.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is important for physical
education
Use synonyms
 and
sports
Use synonyms
programs
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 to be compulsory in school, as they are vital to the development of its students. They are crucial for physical and mental
growth
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 within
children
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 and
adolescents
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, as they are responsible for keeping them physically fit
while
Linking Words
 teaching them teamwork, control, and ambition.
Due to
Linking Words
 these factors, it is important that we keep our
children
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 physically and mentally fit for years to come by making these
programs
Use synonyms
 compulsory.

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content
Use clear and easy words to show your point. Try to give one or two real examples from school life to back your point.
coherence
Link ideas with simple and clear words. Use 'and', 'but', 'so', 'however' to show how ideas go together.
structure
Make each idea come in one main point per paragraph. Start with a small idea then give more details.
language
Be careful with long sentences. Short sentences are easier to read and help the task with good points.
content
Strong, clear view that PE should be in school.
coherence
Good use of linking words to connect ideas.
structure
Good paragraph plan with intro, body, and conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • physical health
  • mental well-being
  • cardiovascular fitness
  • muscular strength
  • coordination
  • teamwork
  • discipline
  • lifelong habit
  • academic performance
  • concentration
  • childhood obesity
  • active lifestyle
  • compulsory
  • equal opportunities
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