In today's world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantage.
Whether people should have a call-up is a recurring argument.
This
writer argues that the importance of smartphones in both their agility in collecting information and relaxation outweighs the drawbacks of abusing them.
The most advantageous factor of owning a phone is that it can help you update the news with just some touches to the screen. In other words
, people can receive lots of information from the online newspaper or social media on the dial to catch up with the world. From prior knowledge, the most popular online platform is Facebook has attracted more than 10 billion downloads and there are tons of articles of news from all over the planet. Moreover
, phones offer a great help as a source to update information quickly.
Another significant factor is the readily available entertainment on smartphones. Social media, apps and games that
can be accessed easily via a dial without going out. In Correct pronoun usage
apply
this
way, the owners can find better ways to relieve their stress rather than relying just only on conventional sports or TV shows. A survey conducted in Japan in 2015 found that those who own a contract had less stress than those without one.
However
, there is still a minority of the community who are reluctant to get their own smartphones because they fear the risk of addiction. They argue that the new ways of enjoyment may get into the life of users, and may contribute to the factor leading to dependence as the users cannot stop using them. This
may be a valid point, but research has shown that call-up enslavement can be avoided and prevented by the abusers limiting the time spent in front of the screen, and can be relieved by simply being involved in other work.
In conclusion, updating the news and relaxing on the phone can be seen as the pros whereas
the situation of being addicted to it is its cons. However
, there are more and more people are buying a smartphone, proving that the dial’s advantages outweigh its disadvantages.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Your essay should start with an introduction that paraphrases the question and states your opinion directly. Each body paragraph should center around one main idea, and the essay should end with a concise conclusion that summarizes your key points and restates your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Work towards achieving a smooth logical flow by using a range of linking words and organizing ideas clearly. While your essay showed some ability to organize ideas and utilize linking devices, the frequent use of 'and', particularly in complex sentences, may confuse readers. Consider varying your connecting words to improve readability and demonstrate greater linguistic skill.
task achievement
Develop your ideas more fully and provide clearer, more specific examples. Each body paragraph should have a clear central topic, with well-developed supporting ideas and examples. The examples you provided are somewhat relevant, but they lack specificity and do not fully support your arguments. Use more concrete and detailed examples to strengthen your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.