IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Today's essay topic: *People in all modern societies use drugs, but today's youth are experimenting with both legal and illegal drugs, and at an increasingly early age. Some sociologists claim that parents and other members of society often set a bad example. Discuss the causes and some effects of widespread drug use by young people in modern day society. Make any recommendations you feel are necessary to help fight youth drug abuse.*

In the modern world, it is undeniable that
drug
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 has become a serious problem among young
people
Use synonyms
, with many experimenting with both legal and illegal substances at an increasingly early age.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the main causes and effects of widespread
drug
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 among youth and suggest several measures to address
this
Linking Words
 issue. One of the most obvious causes is the negative influence of family members and society. To illustrate, when parents or older relatives smoke, drink excessively, or
use
Use synonyms
drugs
Use synonyms
, young
people
Use synonyms
 may view
this
Linking Words
 behaviour as acceptable.
For instance
Linking Words
, a teenager who grows up in a household where substance
use
Use synonyms
 is common may be more likely to experiment with
drugs
Use synonyms
. Another important cause is peer pressure. To clarify, many young
people
Use synonyms
 take
drugs
Use synonyms
 in order to fit in with friends or appear “cool.”
As a result
Linking Words
, widespread
drug
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 can lead to serious effects
such
Linking Words
 as addiction, poor academic performance, and long-term health problems.
For example
Linking Words
, teenagers who become dependent on
drugs
Use synonyms
 may drop out of school and struggle to find stable employment in the future. One effective solution that should not be overlooked is strengthening education and awareness programmes. To illustrate, schools should provide clear information about the dangers of
drug
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 and teach students practical skills to resist peer pressure.
For instance
Linking Words
, workshops and counselling sessions can help young
people
Use synonyms
 understand the long-term consequences of addiction. Another important recommendation is that parents should act as positive role models. To clarify, adults who avoid
drugs
Use synonyms
 and demonstrate healthy lifestyles can strongly influence their children’s behaviour.
In addition
Linking Words
, governments should enforce stricter laws against
drug
Use synonyms
 trafficking and limit young
people
Use synonyms
’s access to harmful substances. To recapitulate, it is evident that youth
drug
Use synonyms
 abuse is mainly caused by negative role models and peer pressure, leading to serious social and health consequences.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is necessary that schools, parents, and governments work together to educate young
people
Use synonyms
, promote healthy behaviour, and reduce access to
drugs
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

content
Make your main idea clear in the opening and keep it in every part.
structure
Put one idea in each paragraph and use plain words to show how ideas go from one to next.
content
Add more real facts or simple numbers to back up each point.
structure
Finish with a short, clear ending that restates the main idea.
language
Check spell and use easy words all through your paper.
structure
Clear start that tells what you will talk about.
coherence
Good use of words that show cause and effect.
content
Examples with school and family help the idea.
structure
Ending that sums up the point.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • peer pressure
  • glamorize
  • substance abuse
  • preventative measures
  • cognitive function
  • alienation
  • awareness campaigns
  • mental health issues
  • parental supervision
  • social stigma
  • rehabilitation programs
  • early intervention
  • psychoactive substances
  • adolescence
  • decriminalization
What to do next:
Look at other essays: