Today many young children are overweight. This is a serious health problem for kids. Give the reasons for this and give some solutions to help them.

Society is very different
today
Use synonyms
. The world has drastically changed.
Today
Use synonyms
, many children suffer from obesity.
This
Linking Words
is a serious problem that affects their health.
This
Linking Words
essay will examine the
reasons
Use synonyms
for
this
Linking Words
problem and give some solutions to help them. On the one hand, there are many
reasons
Use synonyms
for child obesity.
First,
Linking Words
they are inactive these days for many
reasons
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, they watch television and their phones for a long time.
Also
Linking Words
, they play video games for many hours.
Second,
Linking Words
fast
food
Use synonyms
is a wide range
Change preposition
of problem
show examples
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
that makes them addicted to it.
In addition
Linking Words
, the order of fast
food
Use synonyms
has been made easy by the application on the phone. Fast
food
Use synonyms
has been proven to be unhealthy and contains many calories. Third, many kids
today
Use synonyms
live a bad lifestyle. They stay up late with snacks that contain fat and high sugar.
Also
Linking Words
, they tend to eat sweets and chocolate far
to
Use the right word
too
show examples
often.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are solutions to these problems.
First,
Linking Words
exercises are fantastic for body movement.
Moreover
Linking Words
, these benefits are given to their mental and physical body.The parents should take
them
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
children to the clubs or parks for
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
.
Second,
Linking Words
healthy
food
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
of fast
food
Use synonyms
is the best diet.
Therefore
Linking Words
, an alternative bad lifestyle to a healthy by better nutrition, which is amazing for weight.
In addition
Linking Words
, healthy
food
Use synonyms
contains many vitamins that
gives
Correct subject-verb agreement
give
show examples
them better fitness.
Finally
Linking Words
, going to bed earlier improves their lives.
Also
Linking Words
, it reduces their late-night snacking.
Then
Linking Words
, it is
also
Linking Words
less of a disease and obesity.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it makes them wake up stronger. In conclusion, it is clear to see that there are multiple
reasons
Use synonyms
why children are overweight
today
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, there are a number of good solutions.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task response improvement
Your answer has a clear plan, but you could add more ideas and explain them with small details.
Coherence improvement
Link ideas with better flow. Use simple connectors like first, next, then, and finally.
Language accuracy
Check spelling and grammar to avoid mistakes that mask meaning.
structure
There is a clear intro, two body parts, and a conclusion.
content
You show you know the topic and give reasons and ideas to help.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
What to do next:
Look at other essays: