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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the donations given to six different types of charity by one company from 2012 to 2014. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant.

The given bar chart illustrates the
donations
Use synonyms
 in thousands of
dollars
Use synonyms
 of one company in 6 different fields over a period of three years
from
Punctuation problem
, from
show examples
 2012 to 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
, Social
Welfare
Use synonyms
 had the highest
amount
Use synonyms
 of
donations
Use synonyms
 throughout the period,
while
Linking Words
 Arts shared the least
donations
Use synonyms
 in all three years. In 2012, Social
Welfare
Use synonyms
 accounted for the highest
donations
Use synonyms
 at approximately 23,000
dollars
Use synonyms
, followed by Education and
Environment
Punctuation problem
Environment,
show examples
 in which both shared the same proportion at less than 10 thousand
dollars
Use synonyms
 each.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, Health, Wildlife, and Arts received almost 7,000
dollars
Use synonyms
, 3,000
dollars
Use synonyms
, and 2,000
dollars
Use synonyms
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
show examples
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, Social
Welfare
Use synonyms
 had its
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
 income from
donations
Use synonyms
 in
2013
Punctuation problem
2013,
show examples
 at almost
fourth
Correct article usage
a fourth
show examples
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
amount
Use synonyms
 it had
last
Linking Words
 year.
Moreover
Linking Words
, other types of charity had
total
Correct article usage
a total
show examples
 of thousands of
dollars
Use synonyms
 more than Social
Welfare
Use synonyms
 had in the same year.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Social
Welfare
Use synonyms
 was the largest charity who recorded the largest
amount
Use synonyms
 of
donations
Use synonyms
 over the given period at more than 23,000
dollars
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 Health had almost double the
donations
Use synonyms
 of first year. Arts
maintained
Verb problem
received
show examples
 the least
amount
Use synonyms
 of
donations
Use synonyms
 in all three years.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words donations, dollars, welfare, amount with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
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