IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Details of politicians’ private lives should not be published in newspapers. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#politicians’ #lives #newspapers
-No doubt that the
politician
's
life
 affects the common
life
 of many of us, starting from tiny issues in our personal
life
 to the major and important things in our country, of course, politicians should have their levies, I agree with that, we should not interfere in their levies, and consider them as public properties of us, even though I disagree I will discuss here the both sides the advantages and disadvantages to explain what are our rights and boundaries. -The advantages of being a
politician
’s
life
 on the spot continuously, to keep them accurate and precise in any political decision they could take,
therefore
 to be aware that there is a public trial before it is legal,
according to
 that we will sure that the law will be the master of puppets on the stage of political community -On the one
hand
Add a comma
hand,
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 the disadvantages are many,
not to mention
 that we break humanity's rights, personal
life
, and safety, of the
politician
, but the great disadvantage is the concept of understanding that we own
this
 person as he becomes an employee in the political field, and forgetting that he or she is humans want to live a normal
life
, and we should not punch him because he becomes a
politician
, but
in contrast
 we should assist and support him to improve the political scene in our country. -
At the
Change preposition
The
show examples
 end, I would like to express how
politician
 lives a
life
 full of conflicts, they are always stressed and overwhelmed tackling multiple serious obstacles that extend up to the limit they could face a stroke or high blood pressure, so we should not load over them with more of observation and officious unless he breaks the law
then
 we make a judgmental court.
Submitted by Mido  on

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Task Response
Your essay addresses the topic, but ensure to clearly state your stance at the beginning and maintain it throughout. This strengthens your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on structuring your essay more logically. Use clear paragraphs for each point with transition sentences to improve the flow.
Task Response
Supporting main points with specific examples can help make your argument more convincing. Use relevant examples or scenarios.
Language Use & Vocabulary
Be cautious of repetitive sentences and phrases, and try to vary your sentence structure to improve readability.
Coherence & Cohesion
Polish your conclusion to provide a clear summary of your main points and reinforce your stance on the topic.
Task Response
Your essay covers both the advantages and disadvantages of the issue, providing a balanced view.
Critical Thinking
You attempt to articulate a nuanced perspective, which is commendable and adds depth to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • intrusion
  • accountability
  • transparency
  • sensationalism
  • privacy
  • public interest
  • collateral damage
  • precedent
  • responsible journalism
  • exploitation
  • democratic processes
  • media culture
  • balance
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