IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Should young people choose a university subject based on what will help them get a good job rather than what interests them?

Nowadays, there's a question about attending university. Part of the new generation considers choosing their field of study based on what salary
such
Linking Words
 specialists have.
However
Linking Words
, others take their interests into account. Frankly speaking, I believe that majoring in a subject you are passionate about is way better than finding the most lucrative
one
Punctuation problem
one,
show examples
 in case a person feels satisfied with
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
career
Use synonyms
 and is motivated to develop. The main reason why people are willing to take up a new course predicated on their attraction is that they would have more motivation to work hard and towards entering the job market. Putting all one’s heart into a field a person is interested in
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 allows them to map out their
further
Linking Words
career
Use synonyms
 path.
For instance
Linking Words
, my sister managed to attain a master’s degree in international relations
due to
Linking Words
 her passion for
this
Linking Words
 sphere. When it comes to choosing one’s
career
Use synonyms
 path, every opinion and advice matters.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, under parents’ pressure, students could attend a faculty they aren’t interested in. Learning
such
Linking Words
 information day in, day out may lead to multiple burnouts.
As a result
Linking Words
, a person solely struggles and cannot reach their full potential. Analysing my friend’s situation, I would definitely say that she had
such
Linking Words
 an emotional state when she used to listen to her relatives and had picked medicine as a subject to learn
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 had no motivation to continue studying.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I would say that attending a university based on one’s true calling is the best way to become successful . Outlining your wish without taking others’ words into consideration opens up your full abilities. Combining your passion and a profitable
career
Use synonyms
 would lead you to the top.

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structure
Keep a clear position in each paragraph and tie every idea back to your thesis.
cohesion
Use more precise linking words to show cause and effect and contrast.
examples
Add more specific and varied examples from real life or data to support points.
grammar
Check grammar and word choice to avoid awkward phrasing; for example 'predicated on' is formal and unusual here.
conclusion
Ensure conclusion restates your view and summarizes main points.
content
Clear stance from the start
structure
Good flow of ideas between paragraphs
examples
Uses personal example to support point
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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