IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

You work at home and have a problem with a piece of equipment that you use for your job.Write a letter to the shop or company which supplied the equipment.In your letter• describe the problem with the equipment• explain how this problem is affecting your work• say what you want the shop or company to do

#work #home #piece #equipment #job #shop #company #letter• #equipment• #work•
Dear Sir, I hope you are doing well. I am writing
this
 letter to inform you about the issue I am dealing with at our store. It is the blender that we use to blend ice cream every day.
Firstly
, I am having a problem
while
 using the machine because it's a paddle that we use with our foot to start the blender has stopped working. I have tried to fix it as much as I know but it did not work and it is creating trouble for me to make things that we mix like Blizzards, shakes, Freeze etc.
Also
, The spare paddle was already damaged months ago and I had informed you but maybe you forgot.
Moreover
,
this
 problem is affecting our store customer service and making long queue that creating a bad impression of our store. I tried to call you many times but you did not pick up the call.
Then
, I got to know that you are out of town.
Furthermore
, I believe we should change it with a new one or get help from another location. I have talked to our nearby location and requested them for help and they are going to give us their spare machine for a few days. But, we have to buy a new blender as soon as possible. Please order it online or get it in person because we need it urgently
at the end
 of
this
 week as our weekends are usually busy. Hoping to get a solution and looking for a positive response from you. Your Faithfully, Daman
Submitted by damandhillon75026 on

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single idea per paragraph
Ensure that each paragraph only discusses one main idea to improve clarity.
complete response
Provide more specific details on how the issue is affecting your work to enhance task achievement.
greeting and closing
You have successfully included a greeting and a closing, which helps to frame the letter well.
suitable writing tone
The tone of the letter is polite and suitable for the context, which creates a positive impression.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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