Some people feel that it is always wrong to keep animals in captivity, for instance in zoos. Other people say that there are benefits for the animals and for humans. Discuss both sides of this debate, and give your personal view

Zoos
have long been a part of human culture, yet their existence now sparks significant debate. Some argue that
zoos
play a crucial role in conserving and studying various
species
,
while
others contend that confining
animals
away from their natural habitats is inherently cruel. In my opinion,
animals
should live in their natural environments, and
therefore
,
zoos
should be abolished. Visiting
zoos
is a popular leisure activity worldwide and is often seen as an educational opportunity. School excursions to
zoos
aim to teach students about different
species
and their ecosystems. Observing
animals
firsthand can enhance students' understanding of wildlife, complementing classroom lessons.
Moreover
, some
zoos
contribute to the
conservation
and rehabilitation of endangered
species
, which is a notable benefit that supports their existence.
However
, keeping
animals
in
zoos
can cause significant stress, as these environments do not replicate their natural habitats.
Species
such
as lions and monkeys, which thrive in expansive territories, often suffer in confined zoo enclosures. The constant presence of visitors
further
exacerbates their distress.
This
confinement and exposure can be seen as a form of cruelty.
Consequently
, I believe that
zoos
should be either closed or repurposed exclusively for wildlife
conservation
and rehabilitation, without public access. Educational programs can utilize virtual tours and documentaries to teach students about
animals
, eliminating the need for physical visits to
zoos
. In conclusion,
although
zoos
offer educational and
conservation
benefits, the ethical issues of keeping
animals
in captivity outweigh these advantages. Transforming
zoos
into
conservation
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
and utilizing digital resources for education would better respect animal welfare
while
still providing learning opportunities.
Submitted by betinhaa00 on

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task achievement
In your essay, ensure to provide more specific examples to support your points. For instance, when you mention the stress on zoo animals, you could provide an example of a specific incident or well-documented case.
task achievement
Try to deepen your analysis on both sides of the argument, providing a more in-depth look at the benefits zoos provide and the ethical concerns surrounding them.
task achievement
Your essay provides a complete response to the prompt, discussing both sides of the argument and clearly presenting your own view.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and logical structure, with an effective introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The main points are well-supported throughout the essay, which helps in building a strong argument.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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