MANY CHILDREN TODAY ARE OVERWEIGHT. THIS IS A SERIOUS HEALTH PROBLEM. GIVE THE REASONS FOR THE CHILD OBESITY PROBLEM AND OFFER SOLUTIONS TO SOLVE THIS PROBLEM.

Childhood

obesity

Use synonyms

has escalated into a critical global public health issue,with severe

long term

Use the right word

long-term

show examples

consequences for both physical and mental

wellbeing

Use the right word

well-being

show examples

.Understanding the reasons behind

this

Linking Words

issue is crucial for finding effective solutions. Childhood

obesity

Use synonyms

results from several interconnected lifestyle factors.

Firstly

Linking Words

,unhealthy eating habits are a primary contributor to childhood

obesity

Use synonyms

.Many

children

Use synonyms

consume fast

food

Use synonyms

and sugary snacks.

Secondly

Linking Words

,the modern lifestyle has led to decreased physical activity;with the prevalence of screens and entertainment,

children

Use synonyms

are less likely to engage in outdoor sports.

Finally

Linking Words

,the influence of advertisements can not be ignored as many commercial companies target

children

Use synonyms

by promoting unhealthy

food

Use synonyms

,contributing to rising

obesity

Use synonyms

rates. Effective solutions require coordinated efforts between parents and

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

Firstly

Linking Words

,government policies can significantly regulate the

food

Use synonyms

advertising aimed at

children

Use synonyms

by restricting junk

food

Use synonyms

marketing and encouraging healthier alternatives .

Secondly

Linking Words

, schools should provide nutritious meals in their

canteens

Punctuation problem

canteens,

show examples

complemented by practical health education.

Finally

Linking Words

,parents must model healthy eating habits by establishing clear

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

rules for screen time and promoting physical activity within the family. Corporation between parents and

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

leads to healthier lifestyles for

children

Use synonyms

. In conclusion,

while

Linking Words

the main causes of

Use synonyms

children

Replace the word

childhood

show examples

obesity

Use synonyms

are related to nutrition and physical activity ,a collective commitment from all sectors of society is essential to reverse

this

Linking Words

trend and promote healthier habits for

children

Use synonyms

alfred

Feb 3, 2026

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improvement

Add more facts or numbers to back up your points.

improvement

Restate the main idea in the end to seal the essay.

improvement

Fix spelling and grammar, for example 'cannot' should be one word and check spacing.

improvement

Use smoother links to connect points, not only 'Firstly... Secondly... Finally'.

improvement

Give clear examples or data to show how ideas can work in real life.

strength

Your plan is good: list causes and then give real steps.

strength

The essay shows a plan with causes and ways to fix.

strength

Intro and conclusion are present.

strength

Order of ideas is clear with markers like First, Next, and Finally.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

208 words

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MANY CHILDREN TODAY ARE OVERWEIGHT. THIS IS A SERIOUS HEALTH PROBLEM. GIVE THE REASONS FOR THE CHILD OBESITY PROBLEM AND OFFER SOLUTIONS TO SOLVE THIS PROBLEM.

In more and more countries, people choose to give money on special occasions rather than giving gifts chosen personally. Why might this be the case? Is it a positive or a negative development?

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In some countries students must pay their own college and university fees, but in others the government pays. Do the advantages of using government money for college and university fees outweigh the advantages

In many countries, old people are valued by the government while others think that they should consider the young. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Living in a foreign country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?