IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people say that main environmental problem of our time is thye loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are other important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and your opinion.

Environmental
problems
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 are among the most serious challenges in the modern world. Some people believe that the
loss
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 of certain
species
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 of plants and animals is the main environmental issue,
while
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 others argue that there are more important
problems
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 that should be addressed.
This
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 essay will discuss both views and present my own opinion. Those who consider
species
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loss
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 as the most serious problem argue that biodiversity is essential for maintaining natural balance. Each plant and animal plays a role in ecosystems, and the extinction of one
species
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 can negatively affect many others.
Furthermore
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, many
species
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 are valuable to humans because they provide food, medicine, and other resources.
For
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this
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 reason, protecting endangered
species
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 is crucial for the survival of both nature and human life.
However
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, others believe that environmental
problems
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such
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 as climate change, pollution, and deforestation are more urgent. These issues have a direct impact on human health and living conditions.
For example
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, pollution can cause serious diseases,
while
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 climate change leads to extreme weather events like floods and droughts.
In addition
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, deforestation destroys habitats and increases global warming, making these
problems
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 a major threat worldwide. In my opinion,
although
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 the
loss
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 of plants and animals is a serious concern, it is largely caused by bigger environmental
problems
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such
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 as pollution and climate change.
Therefore
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, governments and individuals should focus on solving these major issues
first,
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as
this
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 would
also
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 help reduce the
loss
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 of
species
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.
Overall
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, addressing the root causes of environmental damage is the most effective solution.

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task response
Add one or two specific examples or facts to back each view, not only general talk.
coherence and cohesion
Use topic sentences to start each paragraph and keep ideas in a clear order.
coherence and cohesion
Link your ideas with clear connectors (for example, 'in addition', 'however', 'as a result').
lexical resource
Use simpler words where possible and explain difficult terms in plain language.
task response
End with a short conclusion that restates your view and the reason.
task response
Clear stance and balanced view show good task response.
structure
Structure with introduction, two body paragraphs, and conclusion.
content
Good use of examples to illustrate points.
coherence
Effective use of linking words to connect ideas.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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