IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The bestway to reduce youth crime is to educate parents about good parenting skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

As the world evolves,
youth
Use synonyms
crime
Use synonyms
 has increased. Some people argue that educating
parents
Use synonyms
 about good parenting
skills
Use synonyms
 is the most effective way to reduce
youth
Use synonyms
crime
Use synonyms
. I
am
Verb problem
apply
show examples
totally agree that
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
bette
Correct your spelling
better
 parenting
skills
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 the
bestway
Correct your spelling
best way
 to reduce teen
crime
Use synonyms
, as family influence is more significant than any other factor.
This
Linking Words
 essay will examine the reason behind the statement. Home is the first school
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
parents
Use synonyms
 are the first teachers for
children
Use synonyms
. Kids tend to follow their
parents
Use synonyms
' habits. The majority of
youth
Use synonyms
crime
Use synonyms
 exists because teens get disappointed by their
parents
Use synonyms
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
 they want to take revenge. Another reason is that teenagers do not know which
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 is right and which is wrong.
Parents
Use synonyms
 need to learn about parenting
skills
Use synonyms
, as they will use the
skills
Use synonyms
for educating
Change preposition
to educate
show examples
 their
children
Use synonyms
. Good parenting will make
parents
Use synonyms
 know how to respond
their
Change preposition
to their
show examples
 kid as the kid
growing
Wrong verb form
grows
show examples
 up. It
also
Linking Words
 makes
parents
Use synonyms
 have a better understanding
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
teen's
Check wording
teens'
show examples
 condition.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it creates better communication and good mental health that can prevent
youth
Use synonyms
crime
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
 spend most of their time with their
parents
Use synonyms
. It makes
parents
Use synonyms
 pay more attention to their
children
Use synonyms
.
Parents
Use synonyms
 who are well educated can monitor their kids,
such
Linking Words
 as remind them if they do something wrong.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
parents
Use synonyms
 can control their
children
Use synonyms
 directly.
For instance
Linking Words
, if teenagers are showing the wrong
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
,
parents
Use synonyms
 can fix it by giving some advice. It will help
children
Use synonyms
 distinguish which one
should they
Correct word order
they should
show examples
 do and which one they should not. In conclusion, the
bestway
Correct your spelling
best way
 for reducing teen
crime
Use synonyms
 is by educating their
parents
Use synonyms
. Good parenting
skills
Use synonyms
 are very important to prevent
criminal
Replace the word
crime
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task
State your view clearly in the first paragraph and keep your stance steady throughout. For example, say 'I agree that better parenting skills can help reduce teen crime to a large extent.' Then give two or three clear reasons.
coherence
Organize the essay in three clear parts: introduction with thesis, two body paragraphs with reasons and simple examples, and a short conclusion restating your view.
coherence
Use simple linking words to connect ideas within and between paragraphs, such as 'First', 'also', 'but', 'therefore', to guide the reader.
grammar
Check grammar and spelling basics to improve clarity, especially articles and plurals (for example 'the best way' not 'the bestway').
task
Add a few specific examples or facts to back up points, like a clear example of how parental talk or rule setting helps teens avoid crime.
content
The essay shows a clear view that parents can affect teen crime.
structure
It discusses how home life can be the first school and how parents can monitor and guide children.
content
The attempt to tie parenting to mental health and communication is a good sign.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • parenting education
  • behavioural strategies
  • family relationships
  • communication
  • social influences
  • economic factors
  • peer pressure
  • societal issues
  • poverty
  • inequality
  • comprehensive community programs
  • law enforcement
  • legal consequences
  • deter
What to do next:
Look at other essays: