IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some parents want their children to read only serious educational books at all times. They don't want their children to read any entertainment books because they think it is a waste of time. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Why?

In the modern world, it is undeniable that reading plays a vital role in
children
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’s intellectual development.
Although
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 some parents believe that
children
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 should read only serious educational
books
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 and avoid
entertainment
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books
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, I am opposed to
this
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 view
due to
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 several important reasons, which will be examined in
this
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 essay. One of the most obvious reasons is that
entertainment
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books
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 can encourage
children
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 to develop a love for reading. To illustrate, stories, comics, and novels are often more engaging and enjoyable than textbooks, especially for young readers.
For instance
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, a child who enjoys reading adventure stories may gradually become more interested in reading in general, which can later lead to an interest in more educational materials. If
children
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 are forced to read only serious
books
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, they may associate reading with boredom and pressure, which could reduce their motivation to read altogether. Another point that should not be overlooked is that
entertainment
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books
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 can
also
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 contribute to
children
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’s learning and personal growth. To clarify, many fictional stories contain valuable lessons about friendship, honesty, courage, and problem-solving.
For example
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, novels often help
children
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 understand different emotions and perspectives, which supports their emotional intelligence and empathy.
Furthermore
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, reading
entertainment
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books
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 can improve vocabulary, imagination, and creativity, all of which are essential skills for academic success. To recapitulate, it is evident that
entertainment
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books
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 are not a waste of time, as they can foster a positive reading habit and support
children
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’s emotional and cognitive development.
Therefore
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, it is necessary that parents adopt a balanced approach by encouraging
children
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 to read both educational and
entertainment
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books
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, rather than restricting their reading choices to serious materials only.

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development
Your view is clear and the essay flows well. Try to add a small counter view and a short refute to show balance.
language
Use simple linking words to show how ideas connect, like 'also', 'in addition', 'but'.
example
For more strength, add one more real life or clear example for each idea.
strength
The position is clear from start to end.
strength
Examples support the point and words stay on topic.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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