Some people believe that individuals are responsible for their happiness, while others argue that it is related to factors of personal life. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

In the modern world,
happiness
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is widely regarded as a fundamental goal in human
life
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.
While
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some
people
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believe that
individuals
Use synonyms
themselves are primarily responsible for achieving
happiness
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, others argue that it is largely shaped by circumstances in personal
life
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.
This
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essay discusses both perspectives before presenting my own opinion. On the one hand, those who claim that
happiness
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is an individual responsibility argue that personal choices and attitudes play a decisive role in emotional well-being. A positive mindset, self-discipline, and the ability to cope with challenges can significantly influence how satisfied
people
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feel with their lives.
For instance
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,
individuals
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who adopt healthy lifestyles, set realistic goals, and manage stress effectively often report higher levels of
life
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satisfaction, regardless of external conditions.
This
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suggests that
happiness
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is not simply something
people
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receive, but rather something they actively create through their actions and mindset.
On the other hand
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, many believe that
happiness
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is strongly affected by personal
life
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factors that are beyond individual control. External conditions
such
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as family relationships, financial security, and physical health can greatly influence emotional stability. To illustrate,
people
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experiencing poverty, serious illness, or family conflict may struggle to remain positive despite their best efforts. In
such
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cases, it is unrealistic to expect
individuals
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to achieve
happiness
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solely through personal determination, as environmental pressures can severely limit emotional well-being. To recapitulate, it is evident that
happiness
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is influenced both by individual effort and by personal
life
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circumstances.
While
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external factors undeniably affect emotional health, I believe that personal responsibility plays a slightly more important role, as
individuals
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can still shape their responses to
life
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’s challenges.
Therefore
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, it is necessary for
people
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to develop resilience and positive habits,
while
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society should
also
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strive to create supportive conditions that allow
individuals
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to pursue a fulfilling
life
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.

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content
Use more short facts or examples that fit the point. This will show how the view grows.
coherence
Link ideas more with clear joins. Use clear 'and', 'but', 'however', or 'also' to connect ideas.
grammar
Keep sentences simpler. Some lines are long. Shorter lines help reader avoid errors.
structure
Keep a simple plan. Have one idea in each paragraph and end with a line that shows your view.
task response
The essay shows a clear view in the end.
coherence
Good use of on the one hand and on the other hand.
content
Examples fit the idea of the point.
structure
Conclusion repeats the view, so the reader knows your thought.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
What to do next:
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