IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countriyside is decreasing. Do you think it is a positie or nagative development?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to
cities
Use synonyms
, so the
population
Use synonyms
 in the
countriyside
Correct your spelling
countryside
 is decreasing. Do you think it is a
positie
Correct your spelling
positive
 or
nagative
Correct your spelling
negative
 development? In many countries globally,
provincial
Correct word choice
rural
show examples
 individuals keep coming to live in
cities
Use synonyms
, so the
population
Use synonyms
 in rural areas is falling. Personally, I completely think
that is
Linking Words
 a negative development view
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
further
Linking Words
 below
some
Punctuation problem
, some
show examples
 arguments will be provided.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, if rural individuals keep moving to
cities
Use synonyms
, the country will
fall
Verb problem
suffer
show examples
on
Change preposition
from
show examples
economy
Check wording
the loss
show examples
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
selling
Verb problem
apply
show examples
natural
products
Use synonyms
. What I mean by
this
Linking Words
 is that approximately all farms are in provincial areas, which means many organic
products
Use synonyms
 will
take
Wrong verb form
be taken
show examples
 from livestock.
In addition
Linking Words
, nowadays organic milk
products
Use synonyms
 are declining already, despite the fact that
Correct determiner usage
these type
show examples
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of
products
Use synonyms
 will be consumed by children.
For instance
Linking Words
, that will be for parents, which suggests that
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
type
Check wording
cost
show examples
 of organic food
costs
Check wording
apply
show examples
will increase significantly and low-income individuals who are accustomed to eating healthy food.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the second reason why it is not good to move to
cities
Use synonyms
 is that
bumper to bumper
Use the right word
bumper-to-bumper
show examples
 traffic will grow
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 to clarify that it is the transport users that might be a problem for children who go to school because of them.
For example
Linking Words
, in
Use synonyms
cities
Punctuation problem
cities,
show examples
 many parents go to work earlier than their
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 shows that young people will go to school by walking and they might cross the car line, which causes accidents.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, quaint old buildings are going to be demolished by a high percentage of
increased
Correct article usage
the increased
show examples
population
Use synonyms
. To explain, the government tries to construct more comfortable suburbs for new
coming
Use the right word
incoming
show examples
 residents. What I will give as an example is
after
Correct word choice
that after
show examples
 quaint old buildings
demolished
Verb problem
are demolished
show examples
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
 number of tourists
decline
Correct subject-verb agreement
declines
show examples
 substantially,
Linking Words
also might
Correct word order
might also
show examples
 be removed from
Correct article usage
the touristic
show examples
touristic
Replace the word
tourist
show examples
 country lists
respectively
Rephrase
apply
show examples
. In a nutshell, moving to
cities
Use synonyms
 from the countryside and reducing the
population
Use synonyms
 of rural areas, I firmly believe
that is
Linking Words
 a negative development because of the economy, traffic jams and
population
Use synonyms
.

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Task response
Plan your essay. Start with a clear view on the question. Then put three reasons with short examples.
Coherence and cohesion
Use simple and clear link words to connect ideas: And, But, Also, So, For example, For instance.
Coherence and cohesion
Keep one idea in one paragraph. Each paragraph should have one main point.
Language use
Check spelling and word choice. Use common words.
Task response
Give a real and easy-to-understand example for each idea.
Task response
You give a clear opinion.
Coherence and cohesion
There is a plan for the essay with three ideas.
Task response
Some examples are used to support points.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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