You have a friend who lives abroad. You have decided to apply for a course at one of the colleges in his city. Write to your friend explaining Tell them about the college and the course and why you want to do it. Ask for their help to find accommodation if you get admission to the course.

#friend #lives #course #colleges #city #college #accommodation #admission

Dear Shae The reason I am writing to you is to tell you about my recent change in life.

To begin

with, I decided that I want to study in your city. Can you believe it? I want to apply to Oxnard University for a

Bussiness-Administration

Correct your spelling

business administration

show examples

course. The reason I want so is because I consider myself to be a creative person and I think

this

education will help me to build my own business.

However

, I do not feel that

this

university and the course are what I was made for, but it is the best optimal variant.

Also

, I would like to hear your opinion on that.

Secondly

, I wanted to ask you for help with finding a good flat for me. I am sure you know better than me. I would definitely like to live near you if it is possible, of course.

Additionally

, I thought about living with you for some time if you don't mind, I think it will be fun.

To sum up

, I can't wait to see you and my new university. It will be an unbelievable experience. I look forward to your reply. Kseniia

Submitted by ksrnnn on Mon May 13 2024

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Structure and Development

The letter successfully conveys your intentions but could benefit from clearer paragraph division and more focused development of each idea. Try to allocate one paragraph for each main idea to enhance clarity.

Tone

You've chosen a casual, friendly tone which suits the context of writing to a friend; however, be mindful of maintaining a balance between informality and clarity. Avoid abbreviations or overly casual language that could obscure meaning.

Tone

You've effectively used a personal, engaging tone to communicate with your friend, which is perfect for this context.

Greeting and Closing

You opened and closed the letter in a friendly manner, setting a warm, inviting tone throughout.

Enthusiasm

Your excitement about the course and moving is clearly conveyed, making the letter enjoyable to read.

The Closing

The style of the letter determine how you have to close it.

Check out the suggested closing sentences for each type of letter in the General IELTS Test. The closing sentence should be the last sentence of your letter.

Formal style (To someone you have not met, whose name you don’t know)

Yours faithfully,

Semi-formal (To someone you may or may not have met, whose last name you know)

Yours sincerely,

Informal (To someone you know well, whose first name you know and use)

Best regards,
Warm wishes,

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

192 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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You have a friend who lives abroad. You have decided to apply for a course at one of the colleges in his city. Write to your friend explaining Tell them about the college and the course and why you want to do it. Ask for their help to find accommodation if you get admission to the course.

The Closing

Some individuals advocate for improving public transportation systems as a means to reduce traffic congestion and air pollution. Conversely, others argue that private cars offer more convenience and freedom. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Eating too much of sugar is harmful for health. Some people think it is government's responsibility to limit people's sugar consumption while others think it is individual's responsibility to limit the amount of sugar they eat. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think that the main purpose of education is to make individuals useful to society while others say education helps them to achieve personal ambitions. Discuss both views and give opinion?