More developing countries are being given aid by international organisations to help them in their development plan. Some people argue that financial aid is important but others suggest that practical aid and advice are more important. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

International
aid
towards
development
is being offered to third-world countries, many people argue that financial
aid
is key for
development
,
while
others think that advice and physical
aid
are the most important.
This
essay will cover both points of view, state their benefits and ultimately decide which one plays the key role in developing
overall
. In my opinion, both views play an important role in the
development
of a
country
, considering the fact that no
country
can't expand or evolve with a lack of funds.
Also
, incorrect
management
of resources won't contribute to
development
either, slowing
overall
development
. Financial funding
form
Fix the agreement mistake
forms
show examples
part of the basic capabilities in developing a
country
, as it allows infrastructural
development
in a
country
. Nations with more money can develop new buildings, with several of them being key for a better lifestyle.
For example
, CNN contrasted the most remarkable cities in Dubai before and after the discovery of their petroleum mines, the difference was astonishing, the number of skyscrapers, hospitals, banks and buildings
overall
increased from 1 to 20 buildings per structure after petroleum mines. Another key to
development
in third-world countries is
management
, which includes practical
aid
and advice on the way resources are managed.
This
one is the key to steady and progressive
development
in my opinion. Thanks to the financial benefits that good
management
can provide to a
country
,
this
can be considered the most important type of
aid
. To put an example, if a developing
country
has an area with incorrect
management
, it produces more problems than actual solutions,
therefore
slowing the process of
development
and consuming financial funds to resolve the problems in that specific area. Ultimately, resulting in underdevelopment.
To conclude
, financial,
practical
Correct word choice
and practical
show examples
aid
and
advising
Replace the word
advice
show examples
are important for correct
development
in third-world countries, but physical
aid
and advice in
management
are of utmost importance, since correct
management
of resources can result in an increase in funds,
therefore
resolving the first problem.
Submitted by f.leyton.a on

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task achievement
The essay presents a balanced and clear argument from both sides and manages to give a solid personal opinion. However, it would benefit if the essay delves deeper into each topic and expands its arguments and examples to provide a more thorough discussion and analysis.
coherence cohesion
The essay follows a logical structure and successfully introduces and concludes the discussion. However, it can improve in the clear and logical organisation of ideas, where each paragraph stands on its own but is also part of a coherent whole.
lexical resource
While the essay uses a broad enough range of vocabulary, the word choice could be more precise and varied. Also, some phrases could be expressed more naturally. Remember, try to avoid overusing certain words and phrases.
grammatical range
In terms of grammar, the essay is generally clear, but there are a few minor errors and awkward phrasings, such as 'but physical aid and advice in management are of utmost importance'. Double-check the sentence structure and punctuation to further improve your writing.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • development plan
  • international organisations
  • financial aid
  • practical aid
  • technical assistance
  • capacity building
  • dependency
  • self-sufficiency
  • local communities
  • empowering
  • policies tailored
  • sustainable development
  • immediate relief
  • urgent needs
  • optimize outcomes
  • resources
  • know-how
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