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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that the only way to relax is rest or sleep, while others say people need to do exercise or sport to relax. Discuss both view points and give your own opinion.

In the modern world, it is undeniable that
people
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 face increasing levels of
stress
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 from work and daily responsibilities.
While
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 some believe that the only effective
way
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 to relax is through
rest
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 or sleep, others argue that exercise or
sports
Use synonyms
 are more beneficial for relaxation. In
this
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 essay, an attempt will be made to examine both perspectives before presenting my own opinion. Those who support
rest
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 or sleep as the best
way
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 to relax provide several reasons to justify their view. One of the most obvious arguments is that physical
rest
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 allows the body and mind to recover from fatigue. To illustrate, after long working hours or intense mental
activity
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, sleep helps restore energy levels and improve concentration.
For instance
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, individuals who do not get enough sleep often experience irritability, low productivity, and poor decision-making.
Therefore
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, proper
rest
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 is essential for maintaining mental health and preventing burnout, especially for
people
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 with demanding lifestyles.
On the other hand
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, those who believe that exercise or
sports
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 are better for relaxation
also
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 have strong points that should not be overlooked. One major reason is that physical
activity
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 reduces
stress
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 by releasing endorphins, which improve mood and reduce anxiety. To clarify, activities
such
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 as jogging, swimming, or playing team
sports
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 help
people
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 clear their minds and shift focus away from daily worries.
For example
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, many
people
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 report feeling more relaxed and refreshed after exercising, even if they were
initially
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 tired.
In addition
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, regular physical
activity
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 improves
overall
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 health and sleep quality, making it a more sustainable
way
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 to manage
stress
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 in the long term. To recapitulate, it is evident that
rest
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 and sleep are essential for recovery,
while
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 exercise and
sports
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 provide active
stress
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 relief and long-term health benefits. Having considered both sides thoroughly, I have personally come to believe that
although
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rest
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 is necessary, engaging in regular physical
activity
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 is a more effective
way
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 to relax and maintain
overall
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 well-being. A balanced combination of both approaches is
therefore
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 the
most
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
ideal solution.

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improvement
Make your main view clear in the opening line.
improvement
Add more specific examples and explain why they matter.
improvement
Use more simple linking words to move ideas forward.
improvement
Keep wording simple and avoid long fancy phrases.
strength
Good plan with a clear structure of intro, body, and conclusion.
strength
Examples are used to support ideas.
strength
The essay presents both sides before giving a view.
strength
Link words help the flow of ideas.
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