IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

Some people think certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind bars. To what extent do you agree and disagree?

#people #prisoners #community #work #bars
In today's world, there is ongoing debate about how best to punish people who break the law. Some opine that certain prisoners should engage in civic duty rather than go to jail. I completely agree with
this
 viewpoint because it provides them with
community
 engagement and allows them to change their behaviour. On the one hand,
offenders
 should be allowed to participate in social services without money as it gives them a chance to be a part of the
community
.
That is
 to say that
instead
 of sitting in jail, they could clean up parks, help at
community
 events, and so on.
Consequently
, a positive relationship between
offenders
 and
community
 members leads to stronger social bonds and cohesion.
For example
, in countries like Bangladesh, many lawbreakers are allowed to work in unpaid social tasks as
such
 they might connect with other people effectively.
On the other hand
, unpaid
community
 work can help
offenders
 change their behaviour.
In other words
, by working with others and doing something positive, they might learn new
skills
 and feel like they're making a difference.
As a result
, these wrongdoers use their
skills
 later when they are looking for a job.
For instance
, in the USA, some states have implemented programs where
offenders
 can participate in vocational training and skill-building workshops as part of their civic duty requirements so that they might be able to learn valuable
skills
 and may use them when their obligations are fulfilled. In conclusion, I strongly agree with the notion that authorities should allow some
offenders
 to participate in voluntary services in place of going to jail because it helps them to engage with their
community
as well as
 helps them to change their behaviour through achieving knowledge on different
skills
.
Submitted by mohammad39 on

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structure
Maintain a clear introduction and conclusion to frame your essay effectively, as done here.
language
Incorporate a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to keep your essay engaging.
argumentation
The essay provides a clear stance and supports it with logical arguments.
content
Use of specific examples and details enhances the clarity and effectiveness of the arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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