IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind bars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the modern world, it is undeniable that
prison
Use synonyms
 overcrowding and the effectiveness of
punishment
Use synonyms
 have become major concerns for many societies. Some people argue that certain prisoners should be required to do unpaid
community
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of being sent to
prison
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.
Although
Linking Words
 some disagree with
this
Linking Words
 view, I partly support it
due to
Linking Words
 several reasons, which will be examined in
this
Linking Words
 essay. One of the most apparent reasons why unpaid
community
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
 can be beneficial is that it promotes rehabilitation rather than simple
punishment
Use synonyms
. To illustrate, offenders who commit minor or non-violent
crimes
Use synonyms
 may learn valuable skills and develop a sense of responsibility by contributing positively to
society
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
,
community
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 service
such
Linking Words
 as cleaning public areas or assisting charitable organisations allows offenders to repay
society
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 gaining
work
Use synonyms
 experience, which may reduce the likelihood of reoffending.
However
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, another point that should not be overlooked is that
community
Use synonyms
work
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 is not suitable for all types of prisoners. To clarify, individuals who commit serious or violent
crimes
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 may pose a threat to public safety and require stricter
punishment
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 to deter future offences.
For example
Linking Words
, criminals involved in violent assaults or organised crime should remain in
prison
Use synonyms
 to protect
society
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 and maintain public confidence in the justice system. In
such
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 cases, imprisonment serves as both a deterrent and a form of justice for victims. To recapitulate, it is evident that unpaid
community
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
 can be an effective alternative to imprisonment for certain offenders, particularly those guilty of minor
crimes
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,
while
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 the principal downside is that it cannot replace
prison
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 sentences for serious offences.
Therefore
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, I believe that governments should adopt a balanced approach by using
community
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 service as an alternative
punishment
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 where appropriate,
while
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 reserving imprisonment for
crimes
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 that pose significant risks to
society
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.

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task response
Show your main view clearly in the first line of the essay and in the intro plan.
coherence
Give more strong examples to back each idea.
argument
Keep a balance of views and show how you choose your stance in the end.
cohesion
Make the link from one paragraph to the next smoother.
language
Use simple and common words so the writing is easy to read.
task response
The writer shows a clear view and keeps a balanced tone.
cohesion
There are good link words that show contrast and idea flow.
structure
The essay has a clear structure with intro, body and conclusion.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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