Some people think that governments should invest mainly in making public transportation faster while other think there are more important priorities (cost, the environment). Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
People can be separated into different groups when they talk about communal vehicles. Some believe that it is fundamental that governments invest massive budgets to construct faster transportation, meanwhile, others say that the government should be concerned about practical issues like cost and green ecosystem. In the following paragraphs, I will discuss both perspectives and give reasons why I agree with the first opinion.
To begin
with, connectivity is fundamental, specifically if we want to boost the national economy by developing faster transportation. For instance
, the government of Indonesia has constructed a faster train that connects Jakarta as the capital. Based on that, the distance between both cities can be reached quickly, so people who have business in those locations can travel and goods can be distributed instantly. As a result
, if the government is concerned about this
issue, long distances will never be a problem again. Nevertheless
, numerous citizens disagree with the earlier example because it can cause problems such
as increasing costs and damage to our ecosystem.
For example
, after the faster route has been constructed between Jakarta and Bandung, the public says the tickets are expensive. Consequently
, it can produce an assumption that the previous vehicles are
built just for the rich society. Wrong verb form
were
Moreover
, this
type of train needs heavy energy, Consequently
, fossil power plants as the main source of electricity have to produce more, increasing air pollution.
To conclude
, I declare my position that elaborating on quick mass vehicles is necessary due to
it can decrease time allocation when people travel. Moreover
, exceptional connectivity can support wealth for the state because countless goods can be sent quickly. However
, public policymakers should decrease the price to ensure everyone can enjoy it. Additionally
, it is mandatory to use alternative power to reduce air pollution.Submitted by m.f0562173032 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure there is a clear and logical progression of ideas throughout the essay. Some paragraphs could benefit from clearer topic sentences to guide the reader.
coherence cohesion
Introduce a larger variety of linking words and phrases to improve the cohesion of your essay. Repetition of certain conjunctions was noted.
coherence cohesion
In your conclusion, elegantly restate your main points and opinion without introducing new information to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Address the prompt fully by discussing both views presented and providing a clear opinion. While you did this, more detailed explanations to support each view could strengthen the response.
task achievement
Try to elaborate your ideas further and provide more in-depth analysis. This will ensure that your essay is comprehensive and your ideas are fully developed.
task achievement
Use a wider range of examples, including some specific examples to support your argument. Doing so can enhance the persuasiveness of your essay.
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