Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many people think there are other effective ways to prevent crime,
while
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others think that imprisonment for a long term will reduce crime, as
this
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invokes fear among other criminals. I believe that Rehabilitation and educating them will be more beneficial. On the one hand, many people believe that criminals should be punished with longer
prison
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sentences because
this
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will create a fear of losing their families and many precious years of their lives in
prison
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.
For example
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, in the US, adolescent offenders who took the life of an entire family with their careless driving were imprisoned for longer sentences.
This
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was a lesson for the other criminals, that irrespective of age, if one breaks a law will be imprisoned for a longer time.
On the other hand
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, people think there are other possible ways to reduce the crime rate. Sending a convict to a rehabilitation
center
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centre
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will help them restart their journey.
Moreover
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, educating them will help them to get a job
for
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apply
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them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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to
ear
Use the right word
earn
show examples
for their lives.
For example
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, in India, the offenders were forced to continue their studies from
prison
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with the help of an instructor. And most of them had cleared their exams and were supported to continue their studies.
Due to
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this
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change in the behaviour of the convict, they got released from the
prison
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and are leading a good life. In conclusion, rather than punishing the convict with a
prison
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sentence, we should support them to change their mind and help them to restart their life in a good way. So, I believe that education will play a vital role in reducing the number of crimes.

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content
Add 2-3 more strong ideas about how rehab and education cut crime, with clear links to the topic.
facts
Fix facts and keep examples accurate and on topic.
grammar
Use simple sentences and fix grammar; check subject–verb in long lines.
examples
Use clearer examples that fit the topic, like recidivism or work chances after rehab.
stance
Clear view in favor of rehabilitation.
structure
Good use of 'on the one hand' / 'on the other hand' to show both sides.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite
Topic Vocabulary:
  • deterrent
  • incapacitating
  • rehabilitation
  • recidivism
  • underlying issues
  • desperation
  • community service
  • mental health support
  • reintegration
  • prevention
  • offenders
  • punitive measures
  • support systems
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