More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people think a solution can be to increase the price of fattening foods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, there has been a growing interest in
health
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.
However
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, some individuals contend that obesity plays a crucial role in destroying
health
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due to
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junk
food
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. In my view, I firmly believe that the overweight have been prioritised as an essential sector. These sectors should have a more immediate and meaningful impact on citizens' well-being. Obesity is the largest risk in modern society. To illustrate, several studies indicated that fast
food
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is the main cause behind
this
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phenomenon. That means if people eat twice a week from a restaurant, they will increase their weight dramatically.
Moreover
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, a study at the University of Nizwa found that adults who have diet in their lifestyle will have fitness and energy throughout the day.
Thus
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,
this
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practice contributes significantly to physical and mental
health
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.
In contrast
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, there are more and more countries that have sharply risen the price of snacks to reduce
this
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issue, and limit the price in whole shops. To demonstrate, when we compare to the past, the cola cost 50 Bisa in Oman, but nowadays its price is 200 Bisa.
This
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is because it has extra sugar , which assists in growing the deadly disease.
For instance
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, in Germany, residents' weights have successfully increased by more than 50% because of fast
food
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.
Consequently
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, the outcome of being overweight will influence both residents and the community. In conclusion, obesity plays a vital part in declining
health
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in modern life, and overusing junk
food
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is the main reason.
That is
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why the government should enforce to make strict laws on prices and encourage its citizens to follow a diet and fitness. From my perspective, a healthy body can create a bright and more sustainable future for the next generation.

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task response
Be sure of your view in the first line. Say if you agree or not. Stick to that view in every paragraph.
task response
Plan before you write. Have 3 ideas. Put each idea in one paragraph. Start with a topic sentence and finish with a point.
coherence
Make the link between ideas clear. Use words like first, also, then, but, so to show how ideas go to each other.
overall
The essay tries to talk about a big health issue.
coherence
There is at least one link between ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity
  • overweight
  • fattening foods
  • calorie-dense
  • healthier food choices
  • taxation
  • economic implications
  • social implications
  • subsidies
  • nutritional education
  • public health campaigns
  • nanny state
  • individual's right
  • consumer behavior
  • preventative measures
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