IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the results of a survey of adult education. The first chart shows the reasons why adults decide to study. The pie chart shows how people think the costs of adult education should be shared. Write a report for a university lecturer, describing the information shown below.

The bar
chart
Use synonyms
 illustrates why adults decide to study, categorised in seven reasons,
while
Linking Words
 the pie
chart
Use synonyms
 shows how the costs of each
courses
Fix the agreement mistake
course
show examples
 should be shared in three fields, namely individual, taxpayer and employer.
Overall
Linking Words
, the main purposes of adults to study
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
Correct article usage
an interesting
show examples
interesting
Replace the word
interest
show examples
 in
subject
Correct article usage
the subject
show examples
 and gaining qualifications,
whereas
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the
most
Correct word choice
largest
show examples
proportion
Use synonyms
 of
costs
Correct article usage
the costs
show examples
 of each course should be shared with individuals. With regard to the first
chart
Use synonyms
, interest in
subject
Correct article usage
the subject
show examples
 and to gain
degree
Correct article usage
a degree
show examples
 have
more
Correct word choice
a higher
show examples
proportion
Use synonyms
, accounting for 40% and 38% respectively.
By contrast
Linking Words
,
less
Fix the agreement mistake
fewer
show examples
 people are passionate
baout
Correct your spelling
about
 continuing to study
bacause
Correct your spelling
because
 of
metting
Correct your spelling
meeting
 people and changing
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
, representing 9% and 12% respectively, ranking
two
Check wording
apply
show examples
last
Linking Words
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of helpful for current
accupation
Correct your spelling
occupation
 accounting for 20%, which is the same as
learning
Correct article usage
the learning
show examples
/
studing
Correct your spelling
studying
 mood. Turning to the second
chart
Use synonyms
, the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
, at 40%, is
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
 figure that people argue about sharing the cost of courses.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
taxpayer
Correct article usage
the taxpayer
show examples
 has the lowest share at 25% and
ranke
Correct your spelling
ranked
last
Linking Words
, and
finaly
Correct your spelling
finally
 the
proprtion
Correct your spelling
proportion
 of
employer
Correct article usage
the employer
show examples
 is 35%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, proportion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 4 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage distribution
  • stakeholders
  • pursue further education
  • financial contribution
  • survey results
  • policy implications
  • correlation
  • adult education
  • distribution of costs
  • significant differences
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