IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think the money spent in developing the technology for space exploration is not justified. There are more beneficial ways to spend this money. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Recently, more funds have been invested in developing the required machinery for
space
Use synonyms
exploration
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, and
this
Linking Words
 has raised questions of whether there might be more beneficial sectors to invest in. I believe that investment in
extratrrestrial
Correct your spelling
extraterrestrial
 research is justified,
although
Linking Words
 it shouldn't be at the detriment of other sectors. Opponents of
space
Use synonyms
exploration
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 usually argue that several socioeconomic issues ,
such
Linking Words
 as poverty, poor educational opportunities, inadequate healthcare and environmental pollution, are more pressing issues that require immediate solutions. From their perspective, the large sum invested in
space
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 missions is wasteful because it has no immediate benefits for ordinary citizens, and so it is difficult to justify
such
Linking Words
 spending. They
instead
Linking Words
 propose that these resources should be invested in improving the standard of living and providing essential public amenities. The proponents ,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, are focused on the long-term benefits of
space
Use synonyms
 technology to society. Several innovations , including but not limited to satellite communication, GPS navigation, disaster monitoring systems and weather forecasts, are
due to
Linking Words
space
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exploration
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. These technologies play important roles in daily activities,
while
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
 contributing significantly to economic development and public safety.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
space
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exploration
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 drives scientific innovation, the creation of new industries and high-skilled jobs , which can come together and help humanity prepare for extreme future challenges.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 socioeconomic issues need to be prioritised, excluding
space
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 programmes would create negative long-term effects. Rather,
space
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 research should still be invested because when managed responsibly,
space
Use synonyms
 technology alongside social and economic development would lead to significant beneficial outcomes in the future.

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grammar
Polish small grammar and spell words well. Fix spaces and wrong spell like extraterrestrial.
coherence
Use clearer link words to tie ideas from paragraph to paragraph.
task
Keep a single clear view in the first line and keep it in the rest of the essay.
examples
Give a few short, exact examples to back ideas.
content
Clear view on space money and if to spend it.
content
Good list of tech ideas from space work are shown.
structure
Solid form with two sides and a final idea.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • space exploration
  • justified expenditure
  • technological advances
  • earthly concerns
  • telecommunications
  • environmental conservation
  • inspire innovation
  • diplomatic relationships
  • peaceful cooperation
  • long-term survival
  • colonization
  • commercial ventures
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