Some people have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flying altogether. Do you think the environmental benefits of this development outweigh the disadvantages for individuals and businesses?

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A majority of individuals claim that airports need to reduce the amount of flying from one country to another. It is widely said that our
environment
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needs to rest from polluted air; some agree, and others do not. On the one hand, it occurs that many individuals have the opinion that
people
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should decrease their flying limits, and that they do not have to do it every year.
In addition
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, it is said that our
environment
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needs to rest, recreate fresh air, and get away from air pollution.
As a result
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, our
environment
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will be healthier for humankind, animals, and plants.
Also
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, the threat would fade away slowly, and animals can
finally
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have a great
environment
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.
On the other hand
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, a huge number observe it in a different way. They argue that if they decrease the number of individuals flying,
people
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would lose many opportunities, jobs, and businesses
due to
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delaying a flight to a specific country.
Furthermore
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, that would make many
people
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angry and frustrated because even companies would lose and suffer financially.
Also
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, long distance would make
people
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angry, and they might get isolated, sad, and annoyed. In conclusion, our
environment
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is the backbone of humanity, and it is essential for
people
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to be aware enough, because it does not just save us, but
also
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saves animals and Plants. It would be great if
people
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could combine together in one hand and not argue all
along with
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no result. To me, I think that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages in a positive, healthy way, which would help us in the near future.

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task response
For task response, answer the question more directly. Say clearly why the good points are stronger than the bad points.
task response
For task response, add one or two clear examples about business, travel, or the environment.
task response
For task response, explain your main ideas more. Some ideas are too general and need more detail.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, use clearer topic sentences at the start of each body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, link ideas in a more natural way. Some lines repeat the same point.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, make sure each paragraph has one main idea and then support it step by step.
task response
For task response, you discuss both sides and give your opinion in the end.
task response
For task response, your main topic stays about flying, people, business, and the environment.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, words like 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion' help the reader follow your writing.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • reduce
  • benefits
  • environment
  • pollution
  • travel
  • businesses
  • individuals
  • challenges
  • meetings
  • connections
  • effort
  • manage
  • remotely
  • money
  • stress
  • local
  • culture
  • discovering
  • innovative
  • technology
  • ways
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