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Band 8

Some people say it is important to keep your home and your workplace tidy, with everything organised and in the correct place. What is your opinion about this?

#people #home #workplace #place
It is thought by some that it is of great importance to maintain the tidiness in your house and workplace. I completely agree with
this
 statement and I will argue the reason in the ensuing paragraphs. The first reason for my view is that individuals usually share their workplace with other people, so a
way
 of being responsible and respectful to others is by keeping the
place
 tidy and clean so no one else has to do things that we should have done.
Furthermore
, adults are old enough to be aware of how important is to keep a clean atmosphere.
For instance
, a recent article suggests that a good
way
 to keep the job site clean is by making a general quick clean fifteen minutes before the shift ends. Another reason for my perspective is that humans who share their homes with relatives, partners or friends need to follow some home rules, in that
way
 harmonious living would be possible.
In addition
, if everyone is a mess and does not care to preserve an organised
place
, rather than feeling comfortable in our
place
, it would be the opposite.
According to
 a recent survey that was made in Australia, 80% of the population follow a roaster where everyone in the house has a different task each week, as a
way
 to have equal tasks avoiding complaints.
To sum up
, maintaining a clean and tidy
place
 at work or at home is essential. In that
way
, we will be able to continue a good and respectful relationship with our workmates and lovers.
Submitted by jimeilaria on

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coherence cohesion
Consider diversifying your sentence structures to enhance readability and avoid repetitiveness.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to double-check for minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing to improve the overall flow of the essay.
task achievement
Try to provide a wider range of examples and perspectives to add depth to your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame your argument, providing a strong start and finish to your essay.
task achievement
You have provided relevant and specific examples to support your main points, which strengthens your argument.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear, and your response is comprehensive, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • organised
  • clutter-free
  • productivity
  • mental clarity
  • efficiency
  • professionalism
  • first impressions
  • ergonomics
  • aesthetically pleasing
  • compulsive neatness
  • functional space
  • minimising distractions
  • systematic arrangement
  • time management
  • work-life balance
  • streamline
  • feng shui
  • optimal performance
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