In many countries, teenagers are encouraged to do part-time jobs. What are the advantages and disvanatges of doing part-time jobs?

In many countries,
teenagers
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are encouraged to take up part-time
jobs
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while
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continuing their studies.
While
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this
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practice has both advantages and disadvantages, I believe that with proper guidance, the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. One of the main advantages of part-time
jobs
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is that they help
teenagers
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develop essential life skills.
For instance
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, working in a retail shop or café teaches young people about time management, responsibility, and interpersonal communication.
Additionally
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, part-time work provides a source of income, allowing
teenagers
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to gain financial independence and learn how to manage money effectively.
For example
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, in countries like the United Kingdom, many students save money from part-time
jobs
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to contribute to their education or personal expenses, which fosters a sense of independence.
On the other hand
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, part-time
jobs
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can negatively impact
teenagers
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’ academic performance if not managed carefully. Spending too many hours working may lead to fatigue, leaving less time and energy for studying.
Furthermore
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, some
jobs
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may expose young workers to stressful environments or inappropriate tasks, which can affect their mental well-being.
Therefore
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, it is crucial that part-time work is carefully regulated and balanced with educational commitments. In conclusion, part-time
jobs
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offer
teenagers
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valuable skills and financial independence, but they
also
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pose risks to academic performance and well-being if overdone. I firmly believe that when part-time work is properly monitored and scheduled, the advantages clearly outweigh the disadvantages, making it a beneficial experience for young people.

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Task Response
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Content
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Coherence
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Language
Check for small word errors and keep simple, common words.
Strength
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Structure
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Content
There is a real example that helps the point.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Work experience
  • Financial independence
  • Money management
  • Time management
  • Social skills
  • Academic performance
  • Stress and fatigue
  • Leisure activities
  • Extracurricular activities
  • Negative work environments
  • Part-time job
  • Enhance a resume
  • Valuable life lessons
  • Financial burden
  • Juggle responsibilities
  • Interpersonal interaction
  • Unscrupulous work practices
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