IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some countries achieve international sporting success by building specialised facilities to train top athletes instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Some
nations
Use synonyms
 cultivate famous
athletes
Use synonyms
 to help
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
 to
gain
Verb problem
achieve
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
outstanding goals in the
competitions
Use synonyms
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
show examples
 others pay much attention to the ordinary
’s
Check wording
people’s
show examples
exercising
Replace the word
exercise
show examples
 facilities.I believe
Linking Words
although
Correct word choice
that although
show examples
 modals or champions in the
competitions
Use synonyms
 are important to
countries
Use synonyms
 ,the infrastructure
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 each individual would be more significant to
nations
Use synonyms
. First of all ,the winning of
athletes
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
competitions
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as
Olympic
Correct article usage
the Olympic
show examples
games
Fix capitalization
Games
show examples
 can help
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
gain the
attentions
Fix the agreement mistake
attention
show examples
 of the world.In the process of the games,not only
the
Verb problem
do the
show examples
athletes
Use synonyms
 represent the ability of
nations
Use synonyms
’
Use synonyms
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
, but
also
Linking Words
 unify the
characteristic
Fix the agreement mistake
characteristics
show examples
 and
personality
Fix the agreement mistake
personalities
show examples
 of
nations
Use synonyms
.One Olympic champion,
furthermore
Linking Words
,can contribute to a hero in the country,becoming
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 role model to let lots of teenagers
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
learn and get involved in
this
Linking Words
sport
Use synonyms
,which can help
this
Linking Words
sport
Use synonyms
 to develop.
However
Linking Words
,only pay
attentions
Fix the agreement mistake
attention
show examples
 and investments
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the professional field
while
Linking Words
 cutting the budget of basic facilities in the public
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is harmful to the improvement of the whole country. When a person
go
Correct subject-verb agreement
goes
show examples
 outside and
find
Correct subject-verb agreement
finds
show examples
 no place to play basketball or soccer ,he or she would not feel proud about how many champions
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
 peers get.Especially,sports ,which are not only
honour
Correct article usage
an honour
show examples
,but
also
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 way to improve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health and release the pressure of each individual.
Lacking
Replace the word
Lack
show examples
 of enough courts ,sports
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 or swimming pools
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
may lead to
increasing
Replace the word
an increase
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
obesity rates and
decreasing
Wrong verb form
a decrease
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
healthy rates in
countries
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
,some team
Use synonyms
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as basketball, volleyball and
footballs
Fix the agreement mistake
football
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
need a large number of citizens
get
Verb problem
to get
show examples
 involved to cultivate a stable
basic
Replace the word
basis
show examples
,irrigating the competition and enhancing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
group cooperation ,
then
Linking Words
 a successful team of
this
Linking Words
sport
Use synonyms
 can be created.Only
pay
Wrong verb form
paying
show examples
 attention to some elites to foster would never have good results in the
competitions
Use synonyms
.Taking China as an example ,I could not agree more. In conclusion ,
although
Linking Words
 it is vital to cultivate professional
athletes
Use synonyms
 in the champion for
nations
Use synonyms
 ,I believe
support
Wrong verb form
supporting
show examples
 the whole development of the infrastructure of the whole
Use synonyms
countries
Fix the agreement mistake
country
show examples
 would be better
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the whole development of the
nations
Use synonyms
.

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task
Your answer has a point but the plan is weak. Put a clear view at the start and make a simple plan. Each paragraph should have one main idea with a short example.
coherence
Link ideas in a simple way. Use easy words to join thoughts. Use one idea per paragraph and end with a short line that restates your point.
idea
You show that both elite training and public sport can be good for a country.
structure
The essay has an ending that says you want balance.
content
There is aim to use examples, like China, to back a point.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • international success
  • specialized facilities
  • top athletes
  • sports facilities
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • excellence in sports
  • lack of access
  • general public
  • international sports events
  • unequal distribution
  • resources
  • inspire
  • motivate
  • aspiring athletes
  • neglecting
  • areas of development
  • contribute to
  • economy
  • excessive focus
What to do next:
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